Why can’t you be like the people I work with?
Yesterday I mentioned what settle for. This brings up the question of expectations. What do we expect from our brides? Is what we expect fair? If I think it’s fair and she does not, how can I know what is fair?
One thing that can get men in trouble is applying the expectations they have at work to their marriage. The people you work with have chosen to be a part of the industry/business for which you work. They have some desire and/or ability to do that kind of work, which means they will tend to think and act like others with whom they are working. Additionally, your co-workers have a strong monetary motivation to understand and fit within the culture of the job.
However, the odds are your bride does not work in the same industry/business as you. That means she does not have the same framework as you and the people you work with. Beyond this, a marriage is a bit different from a work place – it is more intimate, it can be more intense, and it is for life. Some of what works well in business is just a bad idea in a marriage. Yes, the best principles of business are good for any relationship, but how you apply them, and where you draw the lines, will vary from relation to relation.
The bottom line is this: she is your bride, not you co-worker. Confuse the two at your own peril!
More on expectations the next few days, and please add your thoughts in the comments.