Good husband, bad husband

I show you the good husband and bad husband. Choose the good.

Did you know there is an epic battle going on inside you? A good husband and a bad husband are battling it out for control of your body and mind, and the power to bless or curse you bride.

Okay, maybe I’ve seen too many action movies – but I think the point is valid. On the one hand, we each have the potential to be loving, giving, caring, generous and selfless. On the other hand, we have the potential to be greedy, selfish, manipulative, controlling and spiteful.  If you listen, you can hear the fight within yourself at times. One voice is accusing your bride, taking the worst possible view of every word she speaks and every action she takes. The other side sees her through the eyes of love – giving her every benefit of the doubt, and loving her even when she is far from perfect.

If your not intentional about this battle your mood and feelings will determine which you follow, and your bride will experience a confusing mix of loving and unloving behaviour from you. However, if you determine to resist the bad husband, and encourage the good husband, the war will cease to be a stalemate, and the good husband will take the upper hand. Some battles will still go to the bad husband, but those will become fewer and fewer.


Image Credit: © Chrisharvey |
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4 Comments on “Good husband, bad husband

  1. I love this post because it fits in so well with the concept of Self-Betrayal. We know what the right thing is but we choose the wrong one and then have to come up with justifications for our behavior. We don’t do the dishes because our partner doesn’t deserve help because he/she forgot my dry cleaning. All problems are my partner’s fault so I’m off the hook of living up to the commitment I made. It’s all about where we put our focus and energy–am I the partner I promised I’d be.

  2. One way that we’ve found of dealing with this, for there is also a good wife, bad wife and for all the same reasons, was to vow to each other that we would only allow ‘soft’ thoughts to rule our reactions to the other. This deffinately works, most of the time. And on those occasions when we discover, through a negative emotional reaction to something that was said or done, a previously undisclosed thought in our heart-of-thoughts that is not according to truth, we ‘take a break’ so that we don’t hurt each other, beyond what may have already happened. Sometimes it took as long as a day before I was able to discover the thought and why it was there.
    Then we discuss it and resolve the issue through a prayerful acceptance of a truthful thought. We then apologize for any hurt and make love.

    The Kingdom of God is inside of the saints and it is… righteousness, peace and joy in holy spirit.

    Is it safe to say, then, that if you are not behaving righteously, knowing peace and experiencing joy, that you probably don’t have holy spirit and thus the Kingdom of God inside of you?

    For righteousness, peace and joy are what we were originally created to know.

  3. What you seem to be referring to is the same thing Romans 7 discusses. Ultimately it is law vs grace, sin vs Spirit. The counterpoint to Romans 7 begins at 7:25 and continues through Romans 8. Are we living/walking in the flesh or living in the Spirit (Romans 8:4-5)? Can we accept the truth of Romans 12:1-3 and _be_ transformed by the renewing of our minds? Note the transforming is something done to us, not something we can accomplish through our own effort, as we allow the Spirit to renew our minds.

    I think it is unwise to believe this is something we _DO_ as opposed to something we become through the transformative work of the Spirit. He does the work, not us. When we try to do it in our own strength we can only expect failure. This is the lesson of John 15 as well. It is the Vine who produces the fruit, not the branches. Apart from the Vine, we can “do nothing” (John 15:3-5). How can 15:3 be true: we are already “clean”?

    Are we truly a “new creation”? Are we saints or are we sinners? Are we alive in Christ or dead in our sins? Have we put off the “old self” [buried it, left it behind] and put on the “new self” or do we choose to continue that old, dead guy with us everywhere we go? Ephesians 4. How can Ephesian 4:32 be true for us? I submit this is all the work of the Spirit in us, not something we can do on our own. This is, I believe, how Ephesians 5:3 is true to us. If we must have some effort of our own, see Ephesians 5:1 which tells us to imitate Christ. We must just remember 5:1 starts with a big “therefore” which sends us back to the facts present in chapter 4! It is also well for us to continue on to Ch 6 to learn the real battle is not against flesh and blood.

    To summarize: we should not assume we can win this battle of which you speak in our own strength. Ever. However, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! Ephesians 4:4-13

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