Seeking the Lord’s advice

Then they told David, saying, “Look, the Philistines are fighting against Keilah, and they are robbing the threshing floors.” Therefore David inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I go and attack these Philistines?” And the Lord said to David, “Go and attack the Philistines, and save Keilah.” But David’s men said to him, “Look, we are afraid here in Judah. How much more then if we go to Keilah against the armies of the Philistines?” Then David inquired of the Lord once again. And the Lord answered him and said, “Arise, go down to Keilah. For I will deliver the Philistines into your hand.”  1 Sam 23:1-4

I see a couple of things in this passage which I think we should do as husbands.

First I see that David did not allow the obvious need dictate what he did. When you realise that David is a warrior, and that killing a problem has worked well for him in the past, it’s very impressive that he sought the Lord rather than just marching out. How often do we hear an obvious need from our bride, and then go marching out without seeking the Lord’s wisdom? What seems logical to us may not be what is right with God, and what seems like the only course of action may not be the only or the best. Even if we do the right thing, doing it too soon can be very wrong.

Secondly, when David’s men suggest his course of action is not good, David does not pull rank. Neither does David try to convince them, rather he double checks with the Lord. Does this mean he is a poor leader? Does it mean he can’t hear God? In my mind, this means that David has figured out he is imperfect. David also shows that he does not see his men as idiots – he thinks their thoughts are worth considering.  Given that he knows he can make mistakes, and that those he trusts think it is a mistake, David double checks. What about us as husbands? Are we able to see that accept that we are imperfect and given to error? Do we trust our brides enough to check what we thought we heard when she thinks we might be wrong? Even more difficult, can we do that without getting upset with her?

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

Sex Lives Suffer for Sleep Deprived: Married Life from hitched reports on a study that found that 25% of couples skip or avoid sex do to lack of sleep. Your bed, it’s not just for sex!

Who’s Hungry: Annalea  at Your Marriage Restored posted a response to my bride’s post “Hungry” which urged women to be more giving sexually. Lori’s post was inspired by my post Bedroom Expectations, and I took it full circle by commenting on Annalea’s post. (If you followed that without a flow chart, I’m impressed!)

A Date Day? Break the Routine & Find Some Romance in the Sun!: Dustin of Engaged Marriage had a great post on daytime dates, which he points out are “Not Just for Shift Workers Anymore”.

7 Days of Sex Challenge: Updates & Prizes!: The One Extraordinary Marriage 7 Days of Sex Challenge starts next Sunday. Are you in?

Do Happier Husbands Lead to Divorce? Yes, if the Wife is Much Less Happy.: Lori at Marriage Gems reports on a study that indicates you have a greater risk of divorce if your bride is significantly less happy than you are.
Don’t Share Marriage Blips with Family: Lori also has a timely Memorial weekend reminder to not badmouth your spouse or share struggles with family members.

Weekly poll #47: Besides sex, what is your GREATEST need from your husband?: An interesting poll over at Christian Nymphos, with time winning out, and non-sexual touch being a distant second.

Date your Wife!: Better Husbands and Fathers, has some good thoughts and ideas on dating your bride..

3 Comments on “Seeking the Lord’s advice

  1. “Do we trust our brides enough to check what we thought we heard when she thinks we might be wrong?”

    This is a tough one! Pride is hard to overcome, and being right is so much easier. Although over the past few years I have realized that my wife is right more often than me.

    Thanks for the link my Better Husbands and Fathers blog!
    .-= Eric – BHF´s last blog ..Date your Wife! =-.

  2. This was a good post. Very confronting for husbands. Our wives are good enough to defer to us many times but we sometimes forget that she CHOOSES to do that and we need to show her enough respect to run our thoughts by her, and “check what we thought we heard when she thinks we might be wrong.” Great reminder. So good. Thanks
    .-= David Patrick´s last blog ..Tips to Last 47 Years =-.

  3. I struggle with this one sometimes. Its easy to forget I am imperfect and given to error, and tune her thoughts out, as a defense mechanism. It takes work to stop and listen, and looks at things objectively. When we do, I believe admitting our errors becomes easier and definitely brings something positive to a marriage relationship.

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