Thank you for being safe.

Recently my bride said to me “Thank you for being safe.”

I know what she means by this because she tells me about the women she communicates with who don’t feel safe in their marriages. By-and-large these woman are not abused in any usual sense of the word – but they know, from painful experience, that there are things they can’t say to their husbands, and places where they must protect their feelings from their husbands. The sad part is most of the husbands don’t have a clue; it’s not like you can tell an unsafe man he’s unsafe – if you could tell him, he wouldn’t be unsafe! That, and guys who are not safe don’t tend to care.

Does your bride feel safe sharing all her feelings with you; or does she fear you will laugh at her, belittle her, or tell her she’s stupid (with your looks if not your words)? Does your wife share her dreams and goals, knowing you will enthusiastically encourage her; or does she avoid sharing such things out of fear that you will make fun of her or tell her she could never do what she thinks she might be able to do? Does your bride feel it’s safe to tell you when she is down, or worried; or does she know you will chide or lecture her?

Be safe – she will be blessed for it, and you will benefit.

3 Comments on “Thank you for being safe.

  1. Great thoughts. At one point in our short 4 year marriage, I wasn’t being safe, and while she didn’t tell me this, she probably was holding her feelings back, but I have worked hard these past few years and we are in a great spot and we are both safe!

    (I think….then again, she wouldn’t tell me if i’m not!)
    .-= Eric – BHF´s last blog ..Wife or Children? =-.

  2. A great resource along similar lines (to read together) is the book “Safe Haven Marriage”

  3. I just found this blog and it’s cool to see a husband doing it! I like this, because it’s true. We should give no reason to make our spouse not feel safe. :)

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