The following was written by my bride earlier this week. I know that what she says here is a not uncommon problem for women, especially those married with kids. I’ll add my thought tomorrow.
I read a blog the other day that is really sticking with me. The author talked about Contentment vs. Complacency and said, “A quick summary of complacency is – ‘Stop caring and you’ll feel a whole lot better.'” While he is talking about all kinds of issues that we face as believers (and the post is a good read), it really hit me in another way. It’s an integrity issue for me.
I see a lot of women who feel powerless in their lives and in their marriages. They respond by becoming complacent (they stop caring and bury their feelings so they don’t have to hurt so much). What happens is that they become passionless as well. Their lives are a series of chores and depression is sitting outside the door (if not curled up in front of the hearth).
This was me. I grew up neglected and abused and it took the Lord awhile to get my attention and help me grow past the passivity and “complacency” of my life. I was really blessed in that my husband is an adventurer and he made it easier for me to grow up and get a life. I will be the first to say this is not an easy choice. When you have been hurt and feel powerless, moving from complacency to contentment is hard and often painful. The rewards, however, are amazing and you have the joy of living a full life in the Lord.
I don’t know that I have any easy answers, but perhaps just being aware that “complacency” is an enemy, rather than the friend it feels like, is a first step. The Lord knows the best way to set you free from complacency (that inward lack of caring that is a form of self protection). Pray for and look for those things that will challenge you to grow and change. If your husband is in a position to listen to you and help you, that’s a plus. Perhaps you have a friend or two that will pray with you and walk with you.
You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety. Abraham Maslow
Be generous! Lori <><