I’ll ignore yours if you ignore mine.
I remember many years ago Lori and I had been with a couple (I have no recollection of who) where the husband was doing something (I don’t recall what) that no one should put up with, and his wife clearly was pretending it was not happening. When we left, I asked Lori “Why does she put up with that?” My bride wisely answered “Because he puts up with her _____”. She was right, they were each doing something that most folks would not tolerate, and they seemed to have some unspoken agreement to ignore each other’s sin.
Since then I have seen this many times. It’s gotten to the point that when I see a husband or wife tolerating something, I start to wonder what their spouse is tolerating. Granted there are other reasons for putting up with something (from real love to abject fear) but a conspiracy of not discussing each other’s bad habits, wrongs, sins, and so on seems to be far from uncommon. It’s often not as clear or extreme as the first case of this I was aware of – it can be very small things. However, the conspiracy is the same – each chooses to ignore something in return for the same.
How about you? Are you putting up with something you don’t like because it gets her to ignore something you do? Is it worth it? I mean is it REALLY worth it? Would you be happier if you each stopped whatever it is you are each doing? Maybe more importantly, would you both be better off if you each stopped?