When ideas of sacred clash
Around our home, we have a “sacred bag”, which holds must-have documents when we travel, and “sacred boxes” which have held very important items in our too many moves of the last four years. Of course, these items are not sacred in the biblical scene of the word, but they are very important.
What is sacred or very important to you? What items, or ideas, are you unwilling to give up? What about your bride, what is sacred to her? An article entitled “The Psychology of the Taboo Trade-Off” looks at what happens when sacred values clash.
“When people are asked to trade their sacred values for values considered to be secular—what psychologist Philip Tetlock refers to as a “taboo tradeoff”—they exhibit moral outrage, express anger and disgust, become increasingly inflexible in negotiations, and display an insensitivity to a strict cost-benefit analysis of the exchange.”
If you argue about or try to change your bride’s mind about something she holds “sacred” it’s not going to end well. If you belittle what she hold sacred, or belittle her for feeling it is sacred, it will get downright ugly. Be aware of what she finds sacred, and tread lightly!
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
7 Things Your Marriage Needs That Money Can’t Buy: A great list here of things you can’t buy that you need to have a good marriage.
Happily Ever After
The Intimacy Couple
Why Nurturing Sex in Your Marriage is Great for Your Kids: An outstanding guest post by Julie of Intimacy in Marriage.
Journey to Surrender
Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage
Who Are You? – Helping Military Couple Reconnect after Deployment: A good article for any couple trying to deal with change – or failing to deal with change.
Forgiveness Part 2: What is Forgiveness?: This second part is as good as the first part was.
The Romantic Vineyard
Staycation – Day One: A staycation is a great idea. My bride and I did an anniversary that way once when we could not afford to get out of town.
Marriage is easy: Corey is spot on with this great post. If you are both mature people, shouldn’t marriage be fairly simple?
How to rekindle the spark in marriage. You can’t.: Another great post from Corey, with the science to back him up. The answer it to move forward, not try to go back.