I recently heard a quote that really grabbed my attention and made me think about my marriage and how I live my life. I’m going to use that quote as the starting place for this post, and will be doing the same with other quotes in the future.
“Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness, possesses you. And in this materialistic age, a great many of us are possessed by our possessions.” Mildred Lisette Norman
I have seen this so many times – people who are ruled by what they own, fearful of losing what they own, or enslaved by what it takes to maintain what they own. It’s not that things are bad, but thing should serve us, not rule us. When our stuff is valuable only because it’s ours, we are not in control. When we pay for a storage space to hold things we don’t use even once a year, there is a problem.
As to marriage, enslavement to things leaves us less time and energy for our spouse. Arguments about how money is spent to maintain and add to our possessions hurt marriages. Devotion to our stuff can also hurt our marriage (one woman said to us “He loves his bass boat more than he loves me”).
Discuss this with your bride. Could you get by with less? Would you be better off and happier with less stuff?
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Black and Married with Kids
Romantic Sex Vs Unromantic Sex: Does It Matter?: Information from a new study that shows waiting to have sex makes for a better relationship.
Happily Married After
The Intimate Couple
Intimacy Survey for Married Couples: I like their idea of printing this out, both of you filling it in, then making a date to share your answers. Look for areas where you need to do more in both what you say and what she says.
Journey to Surrender
Intimacy – The Most Important Ingredient: I agree with Scott on most important ingredient to intimacy. Does your marriage need more of this?
Does Prayer Prevent Adultery?: Lori reports on a study that found that those who “prayed for their partner’s wellbeing showed significant increases in their psychological levels of fidelity and belief that their relationship was sacred .” I’d think this would also reduce use of porn and help with lust issues.
Do You Believe You Are Loved?: If you, or your bride, does not feel worthy of being loved, PLEASE read this excellent post. It could save your marriage.
Need a Pain Reliever? Try Love.: More evidence that a good marriage benefits our bodies as well as our minds.
One Flesh Marriage
Climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit: An excellent post showing (among other things) that the man in the Song of Songs was a man of compliments. “Almost every word spoken by ‘the man’ throughout this whole book is a compliment toward his beloved.”
The Romantic Vineyard
Project 52 – Pregnant Silence: You got the guts to do this? (NO childbearing involved!)