I wish I had …

I attended a memorial service today for a man not much older than I. His death was not expected, and this reminds me that we don’t know when we will pass from this life to the next.

Ever heard a widow or widower lamenting the last words they said to their spouse? Angry words, careless words, or a grunt when they could, and should, have said more. Or, maybe they are haunted by what they left unsaid, or what they left undone. I’ve heard women say they wish they had dirty socks to pick up again, and men say they wish she was there to interrupt the football games. I’ve also heard both sexes wish to be awakened again by snoring or cover stealing in the middle of the night

Much of what we make a big deal about really is not such a big deal if we will step back and look at it. Those things that drive us crazy today we would give anything to “suffer through” again if our spouse were gone. I’m not suggesting we should ignore things because our bride might die, but I think we can gain some important perspective by thinking about what life would be like without her.

My suggestion is to complain a bit less, put up with a bit more, and pull her close tonight and tell her how much you appreciate her.

4 Comments on “I wish I had …

  1. May I share this?


    When your Woman’s soul,
    housed now in hungry flesh and boiling blood,
    joined to mine in ways that only a God could conceive,
    must travel on because of Sin-

    I will kiss you.

    Knowing lips touching where touching needs,
    eyes saying all that can be said,
    feeling, in a moment, all that can be felt,
    entreating memory.

    Our last kiss.

    I don’t know when it will be,
    but, I know it will be.
    I will love you, then,
    that I may kiss you
    like each parting kiss
    is our last.

  2. Paul,
    I have wanted to comment on this post for days and am just sitting down to do that! I am so glad you posted this, especially during the holidays when we seem to get caught up in all the busyness! Over the past year, Brad and I cared for my uncle (he lived with us) who was dying from cancer. It was a time of God really breaking things in and out of our lives and marriage! It really helped us to focus! Watching someone live who knows there days are numbered is a good lesson, in living everyday! All the little things we think to be annoyances, we would very much wish for again! I saw that in my uncle’s thinking and attitude! Thanks for sharing! Really makes you stop and think and reprioritize!

  3. @Kate (and Brad) – Thanks for what you did for what you did for your uncle. Lori and I cared for my mom the last 9 months of her life (cancer) so I know what it cost you.
    I also know that something like that also results in a marraige either growing or being harmed – clearly for you it was the former.

  4. Paul,
    It is so nice to know that Brad and I are not alone out there on so many levels! Marriage and caring for family members just being two of them! Thanks for sharing about your mom! What special people you both are! It was an honor and privelege to take care of my uncle. But there were many tears and sleepless nights along the way! God did pour out his blessings on our marriage during that time. We prayed, fasted and really sought God during the 8 months he was in our care, knowing we needed God’s guidance and strenght! I have to say, I have an amzing hubby! He was there with me every step of the way.
    Again, Brad and I are so thankful for the ministires you are Lori have created! We recommend them to everyone we come in contact with! We are truly humbled to be able to talk openly about God’s design for our marriages next to you both! Thanks for sharing your hearts!

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