A Sexual New Year?

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Want more sex in 2011 than you had in 2010? How you go about that will significantly affect your chances of success.

If sex has been a battle, do NOT make this a big deal right now, and DO NOT try to get a “resolution” out of her. This will just seem like you using anything you can to get more sex, and will further confirm to her that all you think about is sex, and that you will gladly manipulate her to get what you want.

If sex has not been a battle recently, discuss your interest with your bride at carefully chosen time. Not when she is tired or has been busy. Not before sex, and maybe not after (for some women that will be a great time to discuss it). Now frame the issue in a way that speaks to her female mind. Something like “I want sex to be even better for both of us.” Don’t push, and don’t start taking details. Just put it out there and see what happens. Maybe give her a few days to think on it if she tends to be that kind of processor.

Do have some ideas should she ask. Not “we should do X, Y and especially Z!”, but rather some directions to try, some things to explore, some possibilities. Offer a few (do not bury her) and again see what she says, and give her time as needed. If she shows interest, don’t go crazy on her, keep yourself in control, and be ready for her to not enjoy something you enjoy (or vice versa). If you work on your sex life gradually, you could see a large change by the end of the year. On the other hand, if you go in fast and full out, the whole think will probably burn out (or burn her) before the end of the month.

Finally, and most importunately, make 2011 about her enjoying sex more than you enjoy it. Based on how God made our bodies and minds, the reality is she can enjoy it far, far more than you can. In my mind God design tells us what He wanted – so go for it!

3 Comments on “A Sexual New Year?

  1. An additional thought, focus on enjoying her as much or more outside of the bedroom as when you have sex.

  2. …….unless of course, that’s already there and what’s missing IS the sex.

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