This is a follow up of sorts on the post I stole from my bride yesterday. The men’s group I attend is studying CS Lewis’ Mere Christianity. I had a revelation while reading what Lewis said about belief and morality. In my words, if you believed that witches existed and were as was believed in the dark ages, wouldn’t you feel a morality responsibility to tell authorities if you felt a neighbour was a witch? Think about it – a witch was understood to have powers received in exchange for selling their soul to the devil. They could curse people with sickness, even to the point of death. They could control animals, prevent crops from growing, make people infertile, kill babies in the womb, seduce a man against his will, and on and on. Makes modern terrorist pale by comparison, doesn’t it? If killing a witch were the only way to protect society, then would any sane, moral, person be opposed to executing witches? The difference between the people of the dark ages and us is not one of morality, but of how their beliefs interact with a morality very similar to ours.
So let’s apply that to marriage. If you and I have very different beliefs about what a husband is supposed to be and do, those beliefs will result in our acting very differently towards our brides – even if we share a common morality. Maybe this is why we see men we respect and generally agree with treating their wife in a way that seems wrong to us. I’m not saying the way he is acting is acceptable, but it’s possible what he is doing seems right to him because of his wrong beliefs.
How does the affect you? Have you considered the possibility that you have a wrong belief or two about marriage or what it means to be a good husband? If your beliefs are wrong, your actions cannot be right. Find errors in what you believe, and your actions will change in a way that benefits your bride, and your marriage.
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