The thinker and the feeler
“Troublesome relationship pattern #1: one person is a thinker, the other a feeler. Solution: make a commitment to learning from each other.” ~ Gay Hendricks, aka @loveconscious
This is a great quote and in ties in with my recent Who Goes First?. Many differences are not about right and wrong, or good and bad, or even good and better – many differences are just that – differences. Each person must make a real effort to understand the other. Not just an ability to parrot what they say, but an honest attempt to see things from their viewpoint. (Where is that point of view gun when you need it?)
Also, realise that we often need some of what our spouse has. I’m not saying one should be like the other, or both should be the same; rather I mean that we can often benefit from a bit of what they have that we don’t. When my bride and I married, I was rather judgemental – very black and white, and was big on “speaking the truth” without the required love. Lori was on the other end of the scale – tempted to overlook or excuse things in the name of mercy. Over the years, we’ve each gained from the other. We still each lean in the direction in which we once went too far, but now we are both more balanced.
Image Credit: © Surina Esterhuyse | Dreamstime.com