Being gracious about differences in how you remember
Yesterday I gave you a lot of information on how faulty memory can be. The short version is that our memories are not nearly as accurate as we think they are, and we have no way of internally checking or verifying how accurate any memory is. It’s like trying to tell if you have a fever by putting your own hand on your forehead – it just does not work!
So what does (or should) this mean to us as husbands? As I accepted the hard reality that my memory was not as good as I wanted it to be, I became far less adamant about details that I remembered differently than the way my bride remembered them. At least one of us was wrong, but how could I be sure I was right and she was wrong? Even when I felt sure in a particular instance, I realised it was extremely unlikely that I was right significantly more often than she was. In fact, to believe such a thing would be pride, something God does not seem impressed with.
I have learned to accept these memory differences as minor but unimportant irritations that usually cannot be solved. If neither of us can prove we are right, then it’s a waste of time to argue about it. If one of us can prove we are right, is it really important enough to go to the trouble? Occasionally it is important enough, not to prove who is right, but because it’s a rare issue where the correct information is important now. When it’s possible and important to get it right, fine – when it’s not, why do it?
If you’ve taken pride in your memory, as I once did, please pray about it. Are you really an exception? Do you really have a far less fallible memory than the population as a whole? Do you have external evidence substantiating your self-perception? The odds are high that your memory is not nearly as good as you think it is.
Image Credit: © Gennaro Guarino | Dreamstime.com
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