Would you rather be unhappy and in control?
It seems there are men (and women for that matter) for whom being in control is the utmost priority. Among other things, they will choose control, or more accurately trying to be in control, over happiness, peace, accomplishment, or obedience to God.
Yes, yes, I understand the desire to be in control, and I do see some value to having self-determination in one’s life. However, is control so important we should be willing to be miserable just to chase it? Is being in control worth anything if we are unhappy, alone, and not at all productive?
More to the (marriage) point, is chasing control to the point that it hurts or destroys your marriage a wise thing?
Wanting to be in control is not a male desire; it is a human desire. That means your bride also wants to be in control of her life, and of what goes on around her. The more you are in control, or try to be, the more frustrated she will be. Each woman has a limit of how much control she will relinquish. Push past that limit and it could mean the end of the marriage. Well before it control issue will end a marriage, they will cause great harm to a marriage.
When I talk about control in marriage, I do not mean headship. Telling her how to organize the pantry (especially if you do none of the cooking) or how she should go about the things she does is not headship, it is micro managing another adult. Controlling family finances to the point that she has no idea what is going on, or making decisions without getting her input, is not headship, it is totalitarianism. Demanding to know where she is every moment of every day is not loving concern, it is boarder-line abuse.