Grave at sunset © Sarininka |

I mentioned that I would be attending a memorial service today. I did not know the man who was eulogized today, and only knew his wife a bit (my bride knew the woman fairly well). I listened to the comments of those who knew him as I have done at other memorial services. Sometimes at such events, where I know the deceased, I’ve observed folks putting a nice face on who someone was, playing up the good and avoiding the bad. You know what I mean: everyone says, “so-and-so was a great friend” or “great employee”, but no one says anything about how he was as a father. Or, what’s-his-name is extolled for being the most wonderful father, but not a word is said about his several ex-wives.

What would it look like if your memorial service showed an honest cross section of who you were: the good, the bad, and the very ugly? How bad would that be? Or, would it look pretty good on balance?

I realise no eulogy is every going to cover the stuff that doesn’t sound good – but I bet those around us, all of those around us, would enjoy us more and be much more blessed by us if we assumed our eulogy would show a true picture of who we had been. My challenge to myself, and to any of you who care to take it, is to live my life so that a brutally honest retelling of my life will tell about an imperfect man who overcame much of his selfishness, and kept getting better until the day he died.

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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:


Engaged Marriage

Improve Your Relationship with Better Sleep: A good guest post on a topic I harp on regularly.
3 Powerful Reasons to Reflect: Three great points!

Intimacy in Marriage

Your Orgasm Is Your Responsibility (Mostly): A good, balanced approach to an issue that so often is taken to one extreme or the other.

Joe Beam’s Blog

Father/Husband asks about female masturbation: It’s Joe’s turn to dance along the third rail of Christian sexuality!

Journey to Surrender

And Then Some: Scott starts with a thought I tossed out and builds a great post about doing more for your spouse.
And Then Some (Part II): Excellent follow up to the above.
Be A Lifelong Student: Be a student of your spouse!

Marriage Gems

It’s Now or Never—Make Your Dreams a Reality: And help your spouse do the same!
Marriage Education Reduces Military Divorces by Two-Thirds: Find a way to get some marriage education!
Six Super Factors for Healthy Spouses: Great post – pick one and work on it.
5 Marriage Skills That Can Also Help in the Workplace: Great stuff!

Marriage Life

MT Project: My Marriage is my Most Important Relationship: If this is not true for you, something is deeply wrong!
Permission vs Forgiveness: I want to say THANK YOU for this post – I SO AGREE.

One Flesh Marriage

In Is Marriage Important to the Church?:and The Marriage Pastor, Brad argues that we need to make marriage ministry a major focus of the church. I agree 100% with him on this!
The Sexually Confident Wife: Kate discusses the excellent book by Shannon Ethridge.

Romantic Act of the Day

How Important is it? : Are you thinking like a single guy?
Taking Care of things at Home : Rich would like to give you a swift kick on the side of the head …
Sometimes, Work isn’t the Most Important Thing : I hope this is not a revelation to anyone – but do you live it?

The Romantic Vineyard

What About Now?: This is a beautiful music video that Tom and Debi made using photos from trips they have taken together. How about a similar project for you and your bride?
Making Vacations Memorably Romantic I and Making Vacations Memorably Romantic II: have some great ideas.

Simple Marriage

6 Benefits of Eating Dinner Together at the Table: Take this as a challenge.

Stupendous Marriage

I confess I have not had time to listen to The Stupendouse Marriage Show #004 Wives Need More Sleep, Finances and Marriage and 5 Marriage Myths and #005 Who Initiates Sex, What Are you Disagreeing About, and Are You Disagreeing Naked? However, I am looking forward to hearing them after church today.

Winning at Romance

How to Talk To Your Spouse About Sex: I get this question all the time – and here’s a good answer.

3 Comments on “Eulogy

  1. Hey Paul,
    The link to our What About Now video doesn’t work – so I’ve attached it to this comment! Thanks – we’re glad you liked it. This was our first attempt at something like this with our new iMac – an amazing computer I must say! :-)
    .-= Debi – The Romantic Vineyard´s last blog ..Bursting With Joy =-.

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