I mentioned that I would be attending a memorial service today. I did not know the man who was eulogized today, and only knew his wife a bit (my bride knew the woman fairly well). I listened to the comments of those who knew him as I have done at other memorial services. Sometimes at such events, where I know the deceased, I’ve observed folks putting a nice face on who someone was, playing up the good and avoiding the bad. You know what I mean: everyone says, “so-and-so was a great friend” or “great employee”, but no one says anything about how he was as a father. Or, what’s-his-name is extolled for being the most wonderful father, but not a word is said about his several ex-wives.
What would it look like if your memorial service showed an honest cross section of who you were: the good, the bad, and the very ugly? How bad would that be? Or, would it look pretty good on balance?
I realise no eulogy is every going to cover the stuff that doesn’t sound good – but I bet those around us, all of those around us, would enjoy us more and be much more blessed by us if we assumed our eulogy would show a true picture of who we had been. My challenge to myself, and to any of you who care to take it, is to live my life so that a brutally honest retelling of my life will tell about an imperfect man who overcame much of his selfishness, and kept getting better until the day he died.
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Intimacy in Marriage
Your Orgasm Is Your Responsibility (Mostly): A good, balanced approach to an issue that so often is taken to one extreme or the other.
Joe Beam’s Blog
Father/Husband asks about female masturbation: It’s Joe’s turn to dance along the third rail of Christian sexuality!
Journey to Surrender
And Then Some: Scott starts with a thought I tossed out and builds a great post about doing more for your spouse.
And Then Some (Part II): Excellent follow up to the above.
Be A Lifelong Student: Be a student of your spouse!
It’s Now or Never—Make Your Dreams a Reality: And help your spouse do the same!
Marriage Education Reduces Military Divorces by Two-Thirds: Find a way to get some marriage education!
Six Super Factors for Healthy Spouses: Great post – pick one and work on it.
5 Marriage Skills That Can Also Help in the Workplace: Great stuff!
MT Project: My Marriage is my Most Important Relationship: If this is not true for you, something is deeply wrong!
Permission vs Forgiveness: I want to say THANK YOU for this post – I SO AGREE.
One Flesh Marriage
In Is Marriage Important to the Church?:and The Marriage Pastor, Brad argues that we need to make marriage ministry a major focus of the church. I agree 100% with him on this!
The Sexually Confident Wife: Kate discusses the excellent book by Shannon Ethridge.
Romantic Act of the Day
How Important is it? : Are you thinking like a single guy?
Taking Care of things at Home : Rich would like to give you a swift kick on the side of the head …
Sometimes, Work isn’t the Most Important Thing : I hope this is not a revelation to anyone – but do you live it?
The Romantic Vineyard
What About Now?: This is a beautiful music video that Tom and Debi made using photos from trips they have taken together. How about a similar project for you and your bride?
Making Vacations Memorably Romantic I and Making Vacations Memorably Romantic II: have some great ideas.
6 Benefits of Eating Dinner Together at the Table: Take this as a challenge.
I confess I have not had time to listen to The Stupendouse Marriage Show #004 Wives Need More Sleep, Finances and Marriage and 5 Marriage Myths and #005 Who Initiates Sex, What Are you Disagreeing About, and Are You Disagreeing Naked? However, I am looking forward to hearing them after church today.
Winning at Romance
How to Talk To Your Spouse About Sex: I get this question all the time – and here’s a good answer.