Be angry, BUT …

ANGRY! © Victoria Kalinina |“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” [Eph 4:26-27]

That verse proves that anger, in and of its self, is not sin. However, it also shows us that anger can very easily lead us into sin – especially if it’s not dealt with quickly. I see a lot of harm done to marriages by anger – both his and hers. I see women afraid of their husband, or afraid to say or do certain things, or not afraid but unwilling to do something that will subject them to anger. I see men who avoid saying and doing things, including things they need to say and do, to avoid their wife’s wrath. Anger is a poison that kills a marriage from the inside out.

I’m going to spend a couple of days talking about anger in hopes that some of you who have anger problems, or a bride with an anger problem, will see the reality of the situation and choose to deal with it before it’s too late.

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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

New Blog this week: Battle for a Great Marriage is another blog I have found because of Twitter. Gotta love the title – a great marriage can be a real battle – but it;’s a battle we can and must win!

A Grown Up Marriage

What’d You Expect?: “Building a strong marriage is difficult because it forces us to face our own worst enemy, our own selfishness.” « SO TRUE!
Another Post About Sex, Kinda…: A great extension of my thoughts in the recent If I Don’t Admit it, It’s Not True post.


How to Fight Effectively – And Win: Is fighting while upset blinding you to reality?

Battle for a Great Marriage

Married and Not Having Sex: “Let me be clear – If you are married and are not having sex with your spouse, something is desperately wrong. Go get some professional help.” « I agree!
Why Are We Not Having Sex?: A good start to dealing with a sexless marriage.
I Just Can’t Have Sex With My Spouse: Reasons why she might feel she can’t have sex.
Married and Having Duty Sex: Interesting thoughts on “duty” as found in some versions of 1 Cor 7:3.
Do You Want Sex With Your Spouse?: Resources for women with low sex drive.

Black and Married with Kids

Who Are Your Marriage Mentors: If you don’t have marriage mentors, why not?!

Journey to Surrender

Subtle Winds: Self-Care? What about Spouse Care?

Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

The Church’s Answer to Immorality – Part Two: “This whole stupid idea that young people must delay marriage is what I believe to be the single most detrimental thing that we do in Christian culture today.” I agree with Mark fully on this (and have taken heat for it many times!)

Marriage Gems

Stay-at-Home Dads Have Higher Divorce Rate: Thought provoking post …
Are you truly compatible? Does it matter?: You can have a great marriage even if you are “incompatible”.

Marriage Life

You Say Tomato, I Say Tomato: Differences don’t have to kill a marriage.
MT Project: Divorce is not an option: A great article, with the needed balance.

One Flesh Marriage

Turn or Burn to Sexual Confidence: Brad (rightly) tells us there is nothing you can do to make your bride a sexually confident wife – and plenty you can do to keep her from becoming that.
Make Room for Sexual Confidence: Kate follows the above with some ways a man can make room for his bride to become sexually confident. THIS IS A MUST READ if your wife is not sexually confident!
Erase the Marriage Money Arguments: Some great ideas for making money matters less of a problem in your marriage.

Romantic Act of the Day

Sunrise, Sunset : Great advice – do it this week!

The Romantic Vineyard

Bursting With Joy: Read down past the second image – you need to hear this.
Water Into Wine – Proverbs 11: More proof that Tom is a generous student of his bride. Go and do likewise!

Simple Marriage

The importance of dreaming together: Yes, this is VERY important.

Stupendous Marriage

Marriage in the Bible> Adam and Eve: Some interesting thoughts on the first married couple.

Winning at Romance

How to Become Less Sensitive so Your Feelings Are Not Hurt in the Bedroom: More than a few guys need to read this one.

2 Comments on “Be angry, BUT …

  1. Please remove the “Battle for a great Marriage” blog from your listings. I your excitement over this great title you don’t seem to have verified the site very well.

    When I perusing your list of other blogs I came across the link to “I Just Can’t Have Sex With My Spouse”. I found this an odd title since the only reasons for this behaviour (mental or physical imcompetence) don’t seem like a very important topic for a blog.

    In short I was horrified by this so-called pastors comments. To my disbelief the article was basically telling spouses (mostly women) that shouldn’t have sex with their spouse if they don’t live up to expectations. He ends with this clincher:
    “Let me be very clear- If you find yourself in a situation where you just can’t have sex with your spouse, you don’t have to. Forcing yourself to have sex with someone, even a spouse is not healthy and not something that you would ever have to do.”

    I sometimes disagree with things I read but there is no way this unbiblical statement can be tolerated. This man should boycotted as he clearly lacks something and is in a clear path of judgement. There is no use of allowing more judgement to fall on him.

    Please gain a better understanding of blogs before you repost them.

    • @Take Two – The initial post in the series, Married and Not Having Sex – did not show properly in my link list. I read that post thoroughly, and felt the gentleman was dead on. In that post, he twice said “If you are married and are not having sex with your spouse, something is desperately wrong. Go get some professional help.”

      I agree with you that is “you don’t have to have sex” comment is unacceptable as it stands in the other article. When read in the light of the earlier statement, I would tend to agree – fording one’s self to have sex might be following the letter of the law, but this is a case where the law kills and the spirit bring life. A woman, or man, who forces them-self to have sex is doing great harm to them-self, their sex life, and their marriage. No one can keep doing it by force of will, and the end result is far worse.

      If one can only have sex by forcing one’s self, then something is deeply wrong, and it needs to be deal with ASAP. Consider a couple of tweets I send less than an hour ago if you doubt how serious I am about everything else being put aside to deal with sexual problems:

      RT @1DrLove: #Ladies if you there has been sexual abuse in the past, please get healing before you decide to marry. « 1/2

      And if your R already married, PLEASE make getting healing yr top priority! U both deserve what your healing will do. 2/2

      Looking forward to your comments, and I will do more reading on the site in question.

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