She’s not your mom – the other problem
The other common “treating your wife like your mother” issue is men who won’t grow up. They expect their wife to take care of them by doing all the things mom did for them when they lived at home.
- Do you expect her to do all the housework – even if you both work full time outside the home?
- Same thing for the cooking.
- Do you call getting fast food on the way home “making dinner”, but expect her to cook?
- How many guys know how to run the washer and dryer in their home?
- How many men have cleaned a toilet or vacuumed a floor in the last month? The last year?
- Then there are guys who complain that her housework is interrupting their video gaming!
- I’ve heard more than one man say he brings in the money, and all the rest is on her.
- Ever heard a man say “I’m babysitting so she can go out”? Wait, they are YOUR children too, why is you watching them for a few hours “babysitting”?
- In most households, she does the vast majority of the work necessary to get the kids into bed. Moreover, if they get up during the night, he sleeps while she gets up.
- She gets the kids up, dressed and fed each morning. If he “lets her sleep in”, he does half of what she does for the kids, and expects to be thanked.
- He thinks nothing of stopping somewhere on the way home, but she had better be home with dinner ready whenever he gets there.
- His weekends away with “the boys” are as simple as him telling her when. If she wants a weekend away, it’s like planning a major military battle.
You get the idea. Yes, I know many husbands are not this way. I know a couple where he did all the laundry, most of the cleaning, at least half the cooking, and more than half the parenting. He worked full time; she did not do any income producing work. If either spouse is slacking off, that is a problem!
There are a number of reasons women put up with this inequity. Culturally it’s expected. She probably saw her mother doing more than half. Most women are more concerned with “the nest” than most men are, so they do it because they care about it more. Finally, many women learn that doing 60% or more of what needs to be done to keep the household running is far less work than trying to get hubby to do more.
Then he wonders why she doesn’t feel like sex! Aside from being tired and frustrated, there is nothing sexually arousing about a guy who thinks making money is all he needs to do for his wife and family.
We still need your help! From time to time I mention that what we do is supported by your prayers and donations. We could use more of both right now. We have some very interesting meeting with like minded folks over the next six weeks, and ask your prayers for that – and what could come from it. As to money, the economy has cost us some of our regular supporters – including some longtime generous supporters. What we really would like is for 1% of you to commit to a small monthly donation for a year. Just $7 a month from enough of you would make a huge difference to us. Please consider donating.