As God intended her to be

Sign post © Sergey Katykin | Dreamstime.comI wrote recently about trying to change one’s wife, and how that tends to end badly. I must confess that for the better part of two decades I have been doing all I can to bring about a specific change in my wonderful bride; I want her to be the woman God intended her to be.

There are people in my wife’s past who tried to make her into something. Additionally, there have been people who tried to change her, and others who did things that caused her to change away from who she was created to be. To one degree or another, we all deal with this from shortly after birth till we are in the grave; we are pushed and pulled and modified by our circumstances and the people around us. I often see how God use these things to bring about His will for us, but I see other times when people grow into what God intended in spite of these forces. Sometimes these forces move people away from who God created them to be, and from doing what He intended them to do.

I know that the best thing any of us can be is what God intended us to be. I know that being who He made us to be, and doing what He intend, results in greater happiness than anything else. Since I love my bride and want her to be happy, it follows that I should want her to be who God intended and doing what He intended.

It would, however, be rather presumptuous to think I know who God intended my bride to be. If I decided I did know, I would no doubt try to move my bride in that direction, and as I said, our attempts to bring about change often go wrong. Even if I by some miracle guessed correctly what God intended, my efforts would still get in the way more than help. So, I pray: I ask the Lord to make her into the woman He always intended. I also ask Him to use me when possible, and to keep me out of the way when necessary.

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Note: Several blogs have challenged me to do the 7 Links Challenge. We leave in 10 days for three weeks to do a major House Church conference in Florida. We are busy getting ready for that, and I have already laid out posts for the next month. I’ll do the challenge when I get back.

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:


New blogs this week: The Pure Bed’s Blog has been silent for months – I hope the new post this month means more to come. Safe at home is a marriage and family blog coming to you from my former home of Keep Austin Weird Texas. Despite the Austin connection, it’s good stuff!


A Grown Up Marriage

Sexual Intimacy Assumptions Can Wreak Havoc in Your Marriage: Julie Sibert does an outstanding guest post.

Couple Things Blog

Transference: It’s real, it can hurt your marriage big time, and you can choose to stop.
Vacation Like This: This is how/why it should be done!

Engaged Marriage

Family Economics 101 – How Broken Families Are Killing Our Economy: Dustin has had some heated comments on this. What do you think?

Intimacy in Marriage

Wives Who Are Sexually Refused: A great guest post by Kentucky Colonel from A Grown Up Marriage. If your bride wants more sex, you owe it to her, and yourself, to read this carefully.

The Long, Hot Marriage

Forget Your Circumstances & Put Aside Your Problems: Take a break from your troubles. (They will be there when you get back, and if they are not that’s awesome!)

Marriage Gems

Dr. Oz Credits Wife with Success While Promoting Good Health: A wise man!

Marriage Life

I Don’t Have To Let My Emotions Control My Actions: A fantastic article about choice.
I Need Help: Do you accept help when you need it? Do you ask for help when you need it?
7 Links Challenge: Great way to get to know a blog.

One Flesh Marriage

Sacrificing Our One Flesh: The whole one flesh idea can be kind of scary.
Love Links: Links to other blogs – AWESOME!

The Pure Bed’s Blog

8 Things Wise Husbands Learn: This is an outstanding list – do learn these things!
Energizing Your Sex Life: Great ideas – read and apply.

Romantic Act of the Day

Value Her Opinion : Rich always has been a bit of a radical …
The Wedding(?) Car : Nice! Should make a day each year for everyone to do this.
A Kiss Ambush : More kissing is a good plan!
A Very Personal Spa Treatment : I dare you.

The Romantic Vineyard

Water Into Wine – Proverbs 14: Nice!
Our 7 Links Challenge: Another one, and another good read.

Safe at home

Marital Conflict: How To Fight Fairly : Fighting is not a problem if you do it fairly.
Five Ways To Find Balance In Your Home : Great thought questions.

Simple Marriage

Heads up, compromising in your marriage may ruin things: I couldn’t agree more!

Stupendous Marriage

The Reason Behind Date Night: It’s not just for her.

Winning at Romance

How to Stay Married and Happy for Fifty Six Consecutive Years: Married that long is impressive, happy about it is really impressive!

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