More on things found in the article 10 Marriage Rules You Should Break – called “rules you can break with confidence.” Here is another item where I disagree.
Never vacation without each other.
Note: my perspective here is that of someone from The States where most folks get only two weeks of vacation a year. I realise that in much of the developed world people get far more vacation time. Some, but not all of what I say below is less of a problem with more annual vacation time.
I think there is a place for a group of male or female friends to get away together, but I feel this needs to be a minority of a couple’s vacation time. My problems with separate vacations are what the couple losses by not vacationing together, and the temptations that they might face.
Vacations offer us a much needed time to reconnect. If we don’t take advantage of that, our marriage suffers. This means not just vacationing together, but also vacationing in ways that give us time together – time to relax, talk, and share as a couple.
Vacations give us a chance to experience new things, and develop new interests. The couple that vacations together experiences these things together, which will strengthen their marriage.
A big risk of separate vacations is adultery – be it physical, or just an “emotional affair”. Couples who have an active sex life are less likely to take separate vacations if for no other reason that not wanting to be separated sexually. That means those who take separate vacations tend to be, as a group, in a more vulnerable place sexually. Most folks don’t go looking to cheat; adultery is usually a combination of emotional or sexual need merged with opportunity.
There is also the potential lure of pornography, which is now available in most nicer hotels at the touch of a button. Turn on the TV, and the splash page that comes up is likely to tell you that you can get “adult movies”. If you are lonely, horny, or curious, it’s one click away …
If you do vacation separately, stay in touch by phone, text, and e-mail. Staying connected in this way allows you to share your experience in closer to real time, and reduces the risk of slipping into wrong behaviour.