More on things found in the article 10 Marriage Rules You Should Break – called “rules you can break with confidence.”
You should never sleep in separate beds.
Here is another item where I disagree. Yes, I’ve written plenty about the need for good sleep, but it is exceptionally rare that getting a good night’s sleep requires separate beds, much less separate rooms. There are other ways to deal with the reasons people stop sleeping together:
- Ear plugs
- White noise machine
- Snore guards (fitted by a dentist)
- A two chamber air mattress or other low motion bed so that tossing and turning does not make the other side of the mattress move.
- Dual control electric blanket or mattress pad.
A better sleep environment will also help, as will better sleep habits:
- A very dark room.
- Cool, but not cold room.
- Avoid alcohol and caffeine for hours before sleeping.
- Avoid anything that produces adrenalin before bed time (including action movies!)
- Avoid stress before bed (working, heavy exercise, fighting).
- Have a bed time routine – this helps your brain and body know it’s time to go to sleep.
- Don’t eat close to bed time.
- Reduce evening fluid intake if you get up to urinate during the night. (A recent study found that most people go to the bathroom because something else wakes them, rather than being waked because they have to go to the bathroom. Still, if you don’t have to get up, going back to sleep is easier.)
- Have sex before sleeping. Not having needed sex makes sleep difficult, and sex is an excellent sleep aid.
As to the why of sleeping together:
- When a couple sleep together they are exposed to each other’s pheromones, and this helps to connect them and sync their bodies (and maybe their minds).
- Snuggling and falling asleep together is intimate, and very good for a couple.
- Sleeping together helps to sync your sleep cycles, which makes life easier.
- The chance to talk and pray together.
- Sex is more likely. I know one couple that managed to keep a good active sex life despite sleeping in separate rooms, but they are a major exception. In most cases separate rooms, or even separate beds, will lead to a reduction in sexual frequency.