The best sex act?

symbolic sex act © Igor Dolgov |

Up front let me say this is my personal opinion – with support as I will mention.

I think that God intended us to have intercourse as often as possible. Not just sex, but penis in vagina intercourse. It’s well documented that intercourse affects our bodies and minds in ways no other sex act does.

  • Intercourse results in a greater release of oxytocin (the touch, bonding hormone) than any other sex act. Oxytocin causes us to feel closer, and makes sex more enjoyable.
  • More intercourse results in more testosterone in women. That may result in a better sex drive. 1
  • Intercourse results in greater prolactin release than other sex acts (four times more than masturbation for example). As prolactin is what makes us feel sated, this may indicate that intercourse is more satisfying. This may also mean that intercourse causes us to feel sexually satisfied for a longer period of time. (Many men find that masturbation does not reduce their sex drive as much or as long as intercourse, and that manual or oral sex by their wife is somewhere between the two). 2
  • After intercourse, men and women respond better to stress than they do after other sex acts – and the effect lasts for days. 3
  • Vaginal exposure to semen may reduce the risk of breast cancer. The study I’ve cited is ancient. I’ve seen references to a French study done in 1985 which showed the same thing. I’ve also seen mention of a clinical review in 1995 that hypothesized that oxytocin and DHEA that result from orgasm may reduce the incidence of breast cancer. I’ve seen similar claims for cervical cancer, citing a study also from the late 70’s, but have not tracked down the study. (Note: this is NOT the same as the fake story that swallowing semen reduces breast cancer.) 4
  • “[Intercourse] frequency, rather than other sexual activities, is associated with sexual satisfaction, health, and well-being.” 5

Most couples feel closer, more connected after intercourse than any other sex act. So, while all sex is good, intercourse is the better for a couple’s relationship than other sex acts. That being the case, I see all other sex acts as options when a couple can’t have intercourse or when they are having a great deal of intercourse and want to play a bit. Regularly excluding intercourse seems to be cheating a couple out of some of the things sex can, and in my mind should, contribute to their marriage.

Let me be clear I am not saying it’s wrong to climax in other ways, or that we should never climax in other ways. My point is that we benefit more from intercourse than other sex acts, and need to have a good deal of intercourse to get all that God intended us to get. If I had to put a number on it, I’d say intercourse three times a week is needed for most of the benefit. So, if you have sex more often than that, doing something else should not be an issue if you manage intercourse three times most weeks. On the other hand, if you have sex less often than three times a week, excluding intercourse for any other sex act seems a bad plan if intercourse is possible.

1 Link has gone 404

2 The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation and suggests greater satiety prolactin

3 Blood pressure reactivity to stress is better for people who recently had penile–vaginal intercourse than for people who had other or no sexual activity

4 Barrier contraceptive practice and male infertility as related factors to breast cancer in married women

5 Satisfaction (sexual, life, relationship, and mental health) is associated directly with penile-vaginal intercourse, but inversely with other sexual behaviour frequencies

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4 Comments on “The best sex act?

  1. Absolutely! Such an important post.

    My husband and I speak at marriage conferences, and time after time couples come up to me with problems in the bedroom that basically relate to the fact that intercourse isn’t happening. They may do other things–watch porn, masturbate, or even other sex acts–but without actual intercourse, you lose the intimacy that’s so important, and sex becomes about the physical rather than about all aspects of intimacy.

    It’s still good to get variety in your sex life, but not at the expense of what really builds intimacy!

    Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum.

  2. Re: 2nd Bullet Point

    Even though we are married, we use a condom 100% of the time to prevent pregnancy.

    Is the increase in testosterone in women from absorption of deposited semen or from a hormonal response?

  3. This is a wonderful article. I have a great tip that I think many people should try if they haven’t already. It is unorthodox only in the sense that it is uncommon.
    Note: I learned this from a Kama Sutra website a few years ago.

    Begining: me and my espoused start with lots of kissing. This I have found is great at hightening awarness of eachother physically. We slowly undress as we kiss, but do virtually no foreplay. This can last up to 10 minutes or more.

    Middle: once I have put on my condom and have inserted myself, we stop moving. I mean to say that there is ltterally little to no movement. In doing so three things can happen. 1: physical awareness along with pleasure increases (I would say) perhaps 10 fold once we do begin to move. 2: you both look into each others eyes and focus a lot on kissing and saying how much you love each other, or in other words, you are more inside each other’s heads; and you also become spiritually closer, truly become one under God the Father. 3: the climax is much more intense for both man and woman, seeing as their drive inceases to the point were it is a near explosion of love and ectsacy.
    The entire length here depends all on the two partners. If you both manage to last for a good while, say up to 20-40 minutes, it will be very intense and intimate. If you manage up to an hour or more, it will likely be mind boggling. NOTE: be very careful practicing this for an extended period of time, you don’ty want to attract demonic spirits by overdoing it: too much of a good thing is bad.

    End: lay in eachothers arms and talk about what is right in your lives, your love for God, Jesus, each other, your children (if any), how you are growing with God: whatever brings you closer spiritually.

    Hope this is a pleasure for most!

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