A pastor who shall remain nameless for his own protection shared this video with me.

I think most pastors and counsellors would find the video sadly funny. It seems they are forever dealing with people who need to just “Stop It!” I realise that is easier to say than to do, but sometimes it really is that simple. When a husband or wife is doing something that is destroying their marriage, knowing why they are doing it won’t solve the issue – only ending the behaviour will help. Understanding why your spouse does something hurtful may give you compassion, and that might lead to a time of extra grace, but ultimately you need them to stop doing whatever. Knowing why you do something you should stop doing might help you stop, but often is does not, and what if you never figure out the why? What if you waste years figuring out why, and then it’s too late for your marriage?

The solution is to stop it. If you can’t stop it, then get help stopping. Focus on stopping, not understanding.

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:


I’m still playing catchup on my blog reading – the following is from the alphabetical middle third of my list. I am doing one out of order, as I was told it includes some audio from my bride and me – Stupendous Marriage Show 013: Traits of a Good Marriage, What is the Role of a Husband, and Generosity in Marriage Thanks to Stu for making it easy and making us sound so good!

”husband”, a user’s guide”

This is Not Good: Holding it all in? Don’t.
Date Night Revealed: Is date night a must do, or a want to do?
Unspoken: Do you know her dreams? Are you helping her live them?
What’s So Hard About It ?: Want to follow “The Husband Class” on-line?

Journey to Surrender

Scott does an interesting four part series on sexuality: Sexual Surrender or Sexual Satisfaction?: TEXT
Husband’s Sexual Surrender:
Wife’s Sexual Surrender
Thoughts on Sexual Surrender
Links for a Better Marriage: Another seven link challenge – great way to get to know a blogger.
What Do You Think?: This is a great exercise – give it a try and see what you learn about yourself.

Marriage Gems

Why Care About Divorce Reform?: The title says it all.
Husbands Must Provide Financial Leadership, says Expert: Very interesting article.
Which Foods Can Boost Libido?: Best write up I’ve seen on this issue.
The New #1 Reason for Divorce, and How to Save Your Marriage: I’m not big on “new top reasons” reports, but this article addresses a real problem well.
4 Obvious Marriage Tips You Still May Not Be Doing: Knowing and doing are two different things. Are you doing these?
Love Between Men, Women Can Be Like Apples and Oranges: This article challenges some long held stereotypes, and suggests men are not loveless jerks!
Happy Anniversary: Lori has a great idea here – I may have to steal it!
Are You Jealous of Your Friend’s Divorce?: Ever had divorce envy?

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