Drive by snipe versus constructive discussion
How do you tell your bride you don’t like something she did, or said, or don’t like how she did or said it? It would be nice if she heard the words and did not get hung up on how you said it, but that’s not how humans function. What you say, how you say it, and when you say it will all improve or hurt the chance that she will hear you and consider making a change.
Things that don’t work, don’t help:
- Snide comments
- Anything said in passing as you walk away
- Rude comments
- Trying to deal with things when she is busy or stressed
- Trying to deal with things when you are busy or stressed
Most folks either make a big deal of too many things, or fail to say something when they should; figure out which you tend towards, and become more aware so you can deal with things better. Do you need to let her know when something bothers you? If it’s something small you can ignore, that’s fine, but if it happens too often, or is one of many small things, it can become a problem. Some things you should not ignore, as ignoring them is unhealthy for you and/or for your relationship.
The biggest thing is to try to be calm when you let her know something bothers you. Put it on yourself if you can – it bothers you, not it’s a horrible thing that any rational person would hate. Offer a suggestion on how to deal with it if you have one, but be open to other solutions.