Leave the kids out of it!
Recently as we ate breakfast at a hotel I saw and over-heard a family argument that made me both sad and angry. The husband was saying “It’s not my fault” and his wife was telling him it was. He finally got up and left. At this point his wife spent the next several minutes telling their teenage son why she was right, and dad was not only wrong but stupid and useless. It was all I could do to not go over and accuse her of child abuse!
It really does not matter if it was his fault – what she did was unacceptable, petty, and destructive to her husband, her marriage, her son’s relationship with both of his parents, and her son’s future relationships. Was she so desperate to be seen as right that she was willing to do all that harm to feel better? In this case it was the wife who was doing the damage; I’ve seen the same thing from men too, and it’s just as wrong and just as destructive.
Decide you will never do this to your children. Never, for any reason, no matter what. Then try to get your bride to agree to the same thing. Do this no matter how old your children are – and especially if you don’t have kids yet. If you have been guilty of this in the past, repent to your bride and look for ways to deal with the disrespect for their mother that you have sown into your children.