I’m sorry I hurt you

"Did not mean to hurt you." © OlenaAbazid | dreamstime.comApologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.”~ Unknown

I think that is brilliant, and the heart of real love. I am NOT suggesting that you should lie – if you are not sorry you hurt, offended, or upset her, don’t say you are sorry (and please get some help!). Thing is, you can be sorry for her feeling bad even if you did nothing wrong. Assuming you don’t enjoy making her feel bad, why wouldn’t you apologise for doing something that caused her to feel bad?

The step beyond this is to consider how you might avoid hurting her in the same way in the future. In some situations it’s not possible, or possible but not reasonable, but many times you can do or say things differently and avoid hurting her. Of course, some will say, “She needs to toughen up – ignoring to her weaknesses is not doing her any favours.” While this is sometimes true, you being the one “toughening her up” is a bad plan. She needs you to be on her side, to be supportive, to be loving and kind. It is far better for you to help her see that she has over reacted to others AFTER you show her some sympathy.

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2 Comments on “I’m sorry I hurt you

  1. Great post. I agree that apologizing does not equal being wrong. It’s acknowledging that things didn’t work out as intended. I have to take issue with “toughening up…her weakness”. Someone’s feelings getting hurt is not a “weakness”. If more people would realize this, not try to correct it, the world would become a kinder place.

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