The power of the group

Two couples playing games © Monkey Business Images Ltd | Dreamstime.comEarlier this week I was at a meeting of church planters, and I heard two things that I think are true of marriages:

“A church is not mature if it is not connected to other churches.”

“We should not have different corporate and personal values.”

From that, two hard questions for you (and me):

  • Do you and your bride have relationships with other couples? Not you and the husband and her and the wife, but the four of you as a group. These relationships give strength to marriages. You gain and offer accountability and a positive peer pressure. Ideally, you have such relationships with couples with marriages both more and less mature/strong than your marriage.
  • Do you and your bride have different values in private than you have when you are with others? Do you agree with certain things in the group, but then act differently in private? I see only one excuse for this, and that is the “weaker brother” issue. However, the weaker brother should affect our actions, not our words. If we agree to something we don’t live, we are lying. If you need to lie about what happens in private, something is wrong. 

Those of us who are following Jesus find ourselves in a minority. Even in the supposedly Christian nation of the USA, the majority are not making a real effort to follow Jesus. This means that the peer pressure of the world around us pushes us in ways that are not healthy for us in many ways, including not healthy for our marriages. If we want to fight the drift that can come from living among those who follow something else, we need to surround ourselves with those who are going the same way we are going.

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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

New blog this week – Adventure-Some. I mentioned this blog yesterday when I linked to his free e-book Ready-to-go Dates – The cure for Dinner & a Movie. I found this blog recently via twitter, and like what I’m seeing.


Minimalism Can Help Your Marriage : This guest post by Lori Lowe takes a bit deeper look at something I blogged about recently.

Black and Married with Kids

10 Love Coupons Every Couple Should Exchange: Great thoughts on a classic gift
What Gear Is Your Marriage In Today? : And is it where you left it?

Engaged Marriage

Love is Sacrificial: Another great guest post from Lori Lowe.

”husband”, a user’s guide”

200 Mistresses and Hot Embers are parts two and three of The Nude Journal post I linked to last week

Intimacy in Marriage

First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope and Inspiration for Your Marriage: Julie interviews Lori Lowe about her new book.

Journey to Surrender

Romantic Ideas: Christmas Countdown: A nice countdown twist on the twelve days of Christmas (which start on Christmas, BTW)

Marriage Gems

New Inspirational Marriage Book Available: Lori’s announcement of her book, and a special offer.

Marriage Life

Marriage Truth: My Marriage is a Gift: True words – even when they hurt.

The Pure Bed’s Blog

Scheduling Sex: Make Your Own Special Effects: Before you diss it, it’s better than not having sex!

The Romantic Vineyard

A great series:
Hindrances To A Merry Christmas #1 – Grieving
Hindrances To A Merry Christmas #2 – Lack
Hindrances To A Merry Christmas #3 – Injury
Hindrances To A Merry Christmas #4 – Regret

Safe at home

Making the Most (Or Least) of Television At Your House: If you have babies or young children, you need to read this.
How We Respond To Our Spouse Is A Gamechanger: Most men need to pay far more attention to this one!

Simple Marriage

Know Your Spouse’s Preferences: A very useful guest post from Matthew, author of the Adventure-Some blog I mentioned at the top.
Forgiveness is a Gift for the Giver and the Receiver: Another Lori Lowe guest post, and a great read.

Stupendous Marriage

The Top 10 Marriage Blogs of 2011!: Congrats to the winners, and thank you to the 1800+ who voted this year.
Two are Better Than One: Do you parent as a team?
Stupendous Marriage Show 023: What if it is All Gods, and Nookie at the Inlaws: Some great discussion in this episode – I like that Stu and Lisa are digging deeper in posts from various blogs.

…to Love Honor and Vacuum

The 99% and the 1%: Choosing to Have a Great Marriage: II love this post! It. Is. A. CHOICE!

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