Money: Root of many marriage problems
If you have read this blog very long, you may have noticed the lack of posts about money and finances. This is not because I feel the issue is not relevant to marriage; I know that money is a major source of conflict in marriages, and often a part of the reason a couple divorces (see Money and housework – final thoughts on marriage and children study). Rather, my failure to cover this is because I am reluctant to discuss things unless I have a decent understanding of them, and have some measure of success with them in my own life and marriage.
It’s not that my finances are a disaster, but entering marriage with a lack of financial wisdom, and years of irregular income (a family owned business in a seasonal field) have made money a challenge for my bride and me. That it has not been a big problem is more due to our desire to communicate and work through things than because we know how to handle money; that, and God’s grace to us, taking care of us as we have learned to depend on Him.
It is my intention to do more posts on the intersection of marriage and money in the future. In part this is because of my growing awareness of how big an issue money is for many marriages. Additionally I will be better informed and equipped to deal with this subject as my bride and I are helping to do a Financial Peace University for a couple of churches in our little town. I have no doubt you will hear more about this over the next months.
My advice to you, gentlemen, is to be brutally honest with yourself. Is money a problem in your life? Is it a problem in your marriage? Would your bride say it’s a problem? (You could get radical and ask her!) If it’s a problem, don’t ignore it any longer. You can learn to manage your money rather than being ruled by it – or lack of it. You can end money as a source of frustration and strife in your marriage. Like anything else, all it takes is education and the determination to do what you learn.