Double standards – we all hate being on the short end of them, and we all have our own.
A major double standard that is the root of many others is that we don’t apply life’s stressors to others in the same way we apply them to ourself. Most of us give ourselves more grace than we give others. We give ourselves more of a pass because of stress in our lives. If we didn’t get good sleep, had a tough day, or have a deadline breathing down our neck, we excuse rude or unkind things we do. If others have the same things going on we downplay how bad those things are, and we certainly do not give them as much of a pass because of those things.
Of course, part of the issue is that we know exactly what stress and problems we are facing, while we don’t know what others are dealing with. Maybe we would do well to assume others have something stressful going on in their lives. I think it’s better to give a bit of grace that may not be “deserved” than to not give grace where we should. In this way, we might offset our double standards.
Speaking of life stressors, I found a nice tool that shows how major stressors add up.