Love: I choose you
I have always seen love as a choice, not a feeling. I choose to love my bride – it was and is an act of my will. I realise many define love differently, but an act of our will is still a very important, no matter what we choose to call it.
Because love is a choice, I can’t “fall out of love”. If I “don’t love you the way I used to” that means I choose to make a change – it’s on me. I don’t love her less when I am tired, stressed, or grumpy. I don’t love her more when she does what I want, or less when she does not.
When love is a choice, you are not going to find yourself “in love with two women”. If that happens, it means you made a (very bad) choice. Any feelings or urges for another woman are just that. If those feelings or urges are “promoted” to love, it’s because you choose to do so. Besides, if love as a commitment includes choosing fidelity; you can’t “love two women”.
I suspect many don’t think of love as a choice. This leaves them, and their marriages, subject to feelings, whims, fears, and distractions. If you choose each other, for better or worse, come what may, you can get off the roller coaster some call love.