Two men talking © Leo Blanchette |

A few months ago, I mentioned to a friend at church that I was too busy. Before he could (rightly) chasten me, I told him I was aware of this and working to change it. Since then he asks me about every other time he sees me if I am still busy.

Another friend knows I am working on a book, and have struggled to make the time write. He regularly asks me how the writing is going.

I deeply appreciate these brothers, and others like them, who hear what is happening in my life and make efforts to check up on me and to hold me accountable. If I were working on something specific in my marriage, I would share it with a man like this knowing he was going to check up on me. I want that kind of accountability.

What about you – do you have accountability? If you don’t, I think you are in a dangerous place. I’m not talking about someone who controls your life, but about a true friend who cares enough to ask you the questions you need to be asked. Someone who will cut through the bull if you try to serve up excuses. Men like this make us better men, better fathers, and better husbands. We can all use more of that, so if you don’t have it, look for it.

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3 Comments on “Accountability

  1. I really love that you included being held accountable for doing good things too. Not just staying away from bad things.

  2. I have found it very difficult, with a hard working entrepreneur wife and two kids at home, to build relationships with other men in order to have men to hold me accountable. I have little in common with anyone at work on which to build a friendship. Our church is in the next town over and we have little interaction with people in our own town due to where we work, worship, and play – and those we do know we likewise have little in common with. In asking some old fraternity brothers and other geographically distant friends, my situation is not unique.

    I agree that these relationships are incredibly important in the life of a Christian man, especially a husband and father. I wish I had an answer on how to make it easier for men to build these relationships.

    • @Big Charlie – I understand the situation, as I have shared it on occasion. I don;’t happen to care one wit about sports, which kills one of the usual fast bonding routes.

      One of the two brothers I mentioned lives over 1000 miles from us. The last time I saw him in person was over a year ago. But we (actually the four of us, including our bride’s) talk via Skype for an hour or more several times a month. He is more in my life, and aware of my situation, than many I see daily. He is part of our prayer team, and his friendship and support are of great importance to me. It may not be the perfect solution, but modern technology gives us some interesting options.

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