What would you put up with?

Angry man © Matthew Heinrichs | Dreamstime.com

Honestly, if someone treated you the way you treat your bride, how would you feel? Would you feel blessed and loved, or offended and wronged? Would you take it, or would you take a swing at them?

Don’t pass by this too quickly, I’m serious. Think about how you treat her, and specifically all the unloving and impatient ways you act. How would you feel if someone treated you as if you were stupid, or inept? What is it was obvious they felt their thoughts, ideas, and time were far more important than your thoughts, ideas, and time? What if someone cut you off, talked over you, ignored you, or did what you repeatedly asked them not to do?

A very few of you are doing well on this. Most of us are falling short, and if we are honest with ourselves, we know it. Some are bad, and a few are so far past what is acceptable it is amazing you are still married. No matter where you are, you are probably playing down what you do, justifying and excusing it, or telling yourself it’s necessary.  Given that, assume it’s worse than you think it is.

Keep an eye on yourself for a few days. Make a note of how often you do to your bride something you would not want anyone doing to you. If it’s happening often, you have a problem. It may or may not eventually kill your marriage, but it’s certainly keeping you from having the marriage you could have.

6 Comments on “What would you put up with?

  1. Pingback: Happy Hour | The Romantic Vineyard

  2. This is interesting because not a lot of people point out that, whether we mean to or not, we sometimes treat our partners badly. Making an effort to be conscious and aware of how we treat those around us, especially our partners, is a simple and effective way that we can see how we really are.

  3. I have asked my hubby in the past if he would tolerate the same behavior out of me toward him. I’m lucky and thankful that he is very conscious of negative behavior toward me now.

    It would be interesting to determine why a husband is treating his spouse in such a way. Not to excuse it. But, sometimes if you know why you can fix it.

  4. The other day I realized that my husband doesn’t like when I jokingly call him a dork or punk. And I thought, “but you joke about me being a stupid, slut, wh*re, b*tch, bleep, bleep all the time.. and I’m supposed to be okay with it??” I think he just doesn’t realize how negatively he can treat me. I need to learn to voice myself to my husband more and stop being so passive.. Not just for my sake, but also to help my husband grow if maybe he just doesn’t know.

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