Your sexual foundation
“Given the propensity of human traditions to multiply and block the truth, it is important for believers to be sure that their practice of church is built on the correct foundation.” ~ Jon Zens
Jon was talking about how one “does church” there, but I think he states a basic truth we must remember when dealing with any subject – including sex. Have you ever thought about all the things you have been told the Bible says about sex? Have you ever gone to the effort to see if those things are actually in the Bible? Have you looked at the “proof texts” people give for sexual limits or “freedoms”, to see if that’s really what those verses mean?
I’ve spent a couple of decades checking what I was taught. I have done the same with the multitude of claims I get via email. I have concluded much of our “traditional” teachings about sex are at best distortions of what the Bible actually says.
If your sexuality is based on wrong teaching about what the Bible says about sex, then your married sex life is built on a bad foundation. Anything built on a bad foundation is going to have problems, so I strongly suggest a foundation check! What do you and your bride think the Bible says about sex? Can you support those ideas using proper application of scripture? If you read those verses without having been told what they mean, would you see in them what you have been told they say? Have you limited something more than God does? Have you allowed something God has limited? Maybe you have done some of each!
I’d be happy to discuss specific things in the comments, but I want to leave this open so you and your bride can study and learn together.