Without a vision, the marriage perishes

Couple looking in the distance © Kshatry | Dreamstime.com
Seek and you shall find!

Recently in the comments, someone asked me about my motivation to make changes that lead to a better marriage. That’s an interesting story…

I grew up with parents who loved each other, did not fight, stayed together, and had a better than average marriage. However, it was not a great marriage. Honestly I can’t say I ever saw a great marriage before I got married, but I was convinced there was something far better than I had ever seen. I did not believe it, I knew it. I knew it beyond any doubt, and I was determined to do whatever it took to have that kind of marriage. I married a lady who did not share my confidence in what could be, but did share my drive to do everything possible to make it as good as possible. It was not easy, but it was certainly worth it! Today we have a fantastic marriage, and it just keeps getting better.

Why was I so sure a couple could have an awesome marriage when I’d never seen it? I can only blame God; I think He put it in my heart. When and how it happened I could not say; I certainly knew it by the age of eighteen. As for why God put it in my heart, I think it was for far more than just so I could have a good marriage. His putting it in me is no small part of why I do what I do here and in other corners of the web.

My encouragement to you is that when it comes to marriage there is more than you have seen, and more than you have been told. It is not easy, but you can have a fantastic marriage, and it is more than worth the effort. I pray the Lord will put that truth deep in your heart and give you the faith to seek it. In the Old Testament the Lord likens His relationship with His chosen people to that of husband and wife. Jesus calls the Church His bride. Paul also speaks of marriage as an earthy example of what we will have with God. I realise all analogies eventually fail, but surely, God intended human marriages to be a far better example of what we have with Him than most of what we see today. 

Image Source: © Kshatry | Dreamstime.com

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:


Assume Love

How to Avoid Getting Sucked into Your Mate’s Depression ◄ A MUST READ if your spouse struggles with depression.

The Generous Wife

He Stole My Heart ◄ A book review of Beautiful Outlaw (aff link)
10 Confessions from a Sex-Positive Wife ◄ My bride jumps on the bandwagon.
In Praise of Mini-Vacations ◄ Get a vacation any way you can!

Journey to Surrender

Marriage on Purpose ◄ What is the purpose of your marriage? 

Marriage Works

How to Give Yourself to Your Spouse ◄ A deep truth here.


Sex; It’s NOT just about YOU. ◄ A great post about making sex better for her.
“Marriage Bloggers Have Perfect Marriages” – and Other Random Myths Debunked ◄ Dead on right.

Mystery 32

The Couple That Laughs Together Stays Together ◄ I agree, this is vital!

One Flesh Marriage

Forgive and Forget? ◄ Not easy, but oh so important.
Forgiving the Unforgivable ◄ Read this and THEN tell me how you can never forgive your wife.

Romantic Act of the Day

The Aroma of Flowers ◄ A great post about drying flowers for your wife.
Sunrise, Sunset ◄ Find a way to spend time together, no matter what.

The Romantic Vineyard

It Was Unexpected – Really ◄ Here is a beautiful, biblical way to deal with bad news.
Spontaneity Won ◄ This is a brilliant post – go ye and do likewise!

Safe at home

Preparing for Life When The Kids Are Gone ◄ No matter how old your kids are, start working on this now.

Stupendous Marriage

Stupendous Marriage Show 053: Hospitals and Chicken Sandwiches ◄ Are you prepared to help if one of your parents has an emergency and needs you? Some thoughtful discussion of a part of life most of us will have to deal with at some point.

…to Love Honor and Vacuum

Men: Here’s What I Wish I Could Say to You About Sex ◄ If you have a penis, you should read this several times.
Equal Doesn’t Mean the Same ◄ Well said.

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