The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association, and why it matters

My bride and I are coming up on fifteen years of on-line marriage ministry this fall. When we started, there were very few folks taking about marriage on-line, and fewer doing it from a Christian perspective. There were plenty of folks talking about sex on-line, but almost none doing it from a Christian perspective! I suppose so few choices helped us gather an audience, but it was not good for those looking for help, hints, suggestions, and information about marriage and sexuality compatible with a Christian world-view. I have always felt many voices are better; each person is more likely to find someone who speaks to them, and when one voice is off (it happens) there are other voices to show a better way.

Members of the CMBA

This is why I love the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association so much. I have met some great folks, and found some great blogs I had never heard of. I have people of like mind to discuss things with, to rely on when I am unsure, and to uphold me in prayer. These people have experiences I have not had, and known things I do not know, enriching my readers and me. I especially like knowing members of the CMBA are reading what I write, and will speak up if they feel I have said something I should not have said – or just look like I might be drifting. We all need accountability, and the CMBA is that for me, and for its other members.

I encourage you to click the link above. Look for those who are blogging about something dear to you, or in an area where you need help, and check them out.

Now a favour – I want to strongly urge you to do something to encourage those you enjoy reading. Most of the CMBA members are not making money – in fact, many of them are spending money for the privilege of ministering. I can also tell you it is not as easy as it looks. Sure, anyone can turn out a few great posts, but doing it week after week is difficult. I know many would like to post more often, but cannot find the time to do so. Beyond writing and finding images, there are comments to clear (after removing the hordes of spam), and the emails begging for help (not to mention the ones telling you are wrong and going to hell if you keep it up). Those who stick with marriage blogging are doing it because they have a desire to minster – nothing else could motivate someone to keep posting.

How can you encourage bloggers?

  • Comment. A short “Way to go” is encouraging, while something more substantive can help others and/or become the basis for another post.
  • Send them an email thanking them for what they do. Mentioning something specific that you liked, or that improved your marriage is especially good.
  • Share links with your friends, including on facebook and twitter.
  • Click on their affiliate links, and buy if you like the product. No one is getting rich this way, but some are covering their cost or even making a bit.
  • If they take donations (most do not) send them something. Even a one-off $5 or $10 donation says a great deal – it says you care enough about what they are doing to go to the trouble of makeing a donation.
  • If they have an amazon wish list, buy them a book.
  • If they have published a book, and it looks like it would be of use to you, buy it. If it is good, give it a strong review, and share links so others can buy it and be helped too.
  • Pray for them. Marriage ministry is a struggle, in many ways, including spiritually. Having gotten to know folks “behind the scenes” on the CMBA I know readers are not hearing about most of the struggles confronting marriage bloggers.
  • I’m not fishing here – I really would like you to bless some other blogger today – they need it!

By the way: While my bride and I are honoured to be a part of the “core team” of the CMBA, this is not “our baby”. We are so thankful God put this on the hearts of others, and that they were obedient to the call.

Image Credits: © by each blog shown

15 Comments on “The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association, and why it matters

  1. Wrong and going to hell for it?!? Why does this have to be the same ignorant reoccurring theme for our “brothers”? Uh, Romans 14, and all things are permissible but not all things are profitable. And many others. Oh yeah, I’m wrong. It’s the eleventh commandment,”Thou shalt always be morally outraged.” <—(Read heavy sarcasm here)

    Well I love you guys and think you are doing wonderful work! My wife and I have grown much closer because of you.

    • Kevin – Oh yeah, we all get those. Some are nicer than others, some are just rude and nasty.

      My favourite email of all time had several paragraphs telling me how right we were, how the author had been saying these things for years, and on and on. Very complimentary. It was then signed “Satan”!

      I tried to reply, but his hotmail account (I kid you not) had been closed.

      You have to learn to laugh, but still look for valid issues. If you take it all dead serious it will eat you up, and if you just ignore it all you are no longer correctable, and that’s a very bad thing.

      Which brings me back to the CMBA, who I count on to keep me from getting off track!

  2. Pingback: The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association, and why it matters | Marriage and Family (Catholic & Christian) |

  3. Thanks for all you do Paul! Great to be a part of CMBA with you guys and others… You encourage us to keep it up :)

  4. That Losada Line applies with marriage ministry too! I get my share of you-stink comments, but thankfully the positive reactions outnumber those. And essentially, we marriage bloggers are happy to do whatever we can to help even one marriage survive, grow, or thrive.

    I have also been blessed by CMBA and appreciate its members to much. And I have found several other great blogs there I wouldn’t have known about otherwise.

    • J – Yup, it does have an affect when we get a lot of negatives.

      As to how much we hear, I read that when Jesus healed ten lepers, only one came to thank Him. I figure if Jesus could only get 10%, why should I expect any more? I’ve read that many have concluded the same, that every mail represents ten who feel the same way – be it good or bad. I think fast and easy communication has skewed that towards the negative, but I still assume every comment represents many who will never contact me.

  5. Thanks for posting this, Paul. I’m very blessed to be a part of this group and I appreciate all that you and your wife do (as well as the core team) to help grow, strengthen, and nurture Christ-centered marriages! To Christ, be all the glory. And to us, we’ll let’s just say that the nasty comments help us to sit at the feet of Jesus a little bit longer!

  6. I have to say that joining the CMBA was the best thing I’ve ever done blogging. I really appreciate the help and suggestions in the forums and I love all the different perspectives! I think between all of us, God’s hopefully speaking through all of us to cover the issues that others need help with!

    • Elizabeth – I love the help in covering things that the CMBA gives us. It allows each of us to focus on what we know, and what God has given us a passion for, knowing that there are others who are dealing well with areas beyond our gifting.

  7. I had no idea that you and your wife have been at this marriage blogging adventure for so long! That’s impressive, Paul! I’m so grateful for the pioneering efforts of both of you. Thanks too for cheering the rest of us on in our marriage ministries. It’s great to be a part of such a great team!

  8. I have just recently discovered CMBA. I am loving all the great resources out there and the vastly different experiences I am reading about. My husband and I now have a passion for sharing how God healed our marriage and how he can overcome pornography addiction and an affair and I am hoping that God can use me through the gift of writing that he has blessed me with. There are so many hurting people and my heart is for them. For the hurting and broken women and marriages that are out there. For those that want to divorce because it seems easier than facing the aftermath of an affair, etc…I’ve read several of your posts, waiting for the right one I wanted to comment on. Thank you for this post and for pointing out that there is benefit in all the contributors of CMBA.

    • Jamie – I’ve been reading your blog – and praying for you. May God give you wisdom on what to say, how to say it, and what not to say. Even more than that, may He use what you say to help others.

      • I appreciate any prayers I can get! It is amazing how God is already using my story, just six months in, to encourage other women to hang on and to fight for their marriages. It is SO worth it!

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