Ask her to pick four

Yesterday I said we all have limits, and suggested asking more of your wife than she can do is a bad plan.

Today, what about you? You have limits too. You have time limits, and limits to your emotional and mental energy. Some things that are simple for others are difficult for you (and vice versa). Like your bride, you can only do so much, and if she asks more of you than you can do, you will fail.

Balance © Mr Moss |

First, you have to be honest with yourself about your limits. Some of us have a bad habit of overestimating their limits, while others underestimate or intentionally lower their limits. Both of these are a problem; you need a good honest idea of your limits so you do not burn out or fall into selfishness.

Second, you need to communicate your limits to your bride. Let her know you want to meet her needs, but do not want to over promise and fail due to lack of time or energy. Find out what is important to her, and what would she would like but can live without.

Third, seasons of life will give you more and less time and energy. If something at work or some other stress is going to limit you more than usual, discuss this with your bride as soon as you become aware of it. Ask her what she most wants you to keep doing, and what she can do without for a time. On the other hand, when your time and energy are greater than usual, try to do some extra things for her, but be sure she understands you may not be able to keep doing them when the extra time and/or energy end.

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