Seeing Her Escalation Curves
Yesterday I said there are two primary ways people escalate a problem. I suggested the effective escalation curve is a far better choice if you want to precipitate change. Today let’s look at it from the other side, being on the receiving end of an escalation curve.
If your wife tends towards the infective escalation curve, you may underestimate her frustration until she blows. Aside from the facts no one likes a blow up and blows are bad for our marriages, dealing with something after a blow up is far more difficult than dealing with it before a blow up. She blows up because she just can’t take it any more, which means she expects a full fix right now. She’s unwilling and/or unable to discuss the issue calmly, and she’s not going to wait patiently for you to make gradual changes. So, it’s in your best interest to learn to identify an infective escalation curve and deal with issues before they erupt.
If your wife has ever run an infective escalation curve through to blow up, you can assume she will do it again. Even without any blow ups, if she does a low-level nag about something for a long time, the odds are very good she will eventually build up enough frustration to bring about an eruption. Once you know, or suspect, she will stew for months or years before blowing up, take it on yourself to put more thought into her complaints. If you hear her complain about the same thing off and on for a long time, you would be wise to sit down and discuss the issue. Listen carefully, try to hear how much it bothers her, and try to determine if she sees it as a minor annoyance or a real problem. If it seems like something that could lead to a blow up, start working on it now. Be sure to check back with her to see if you’re addressing the issue in her mind.
Save some money on-line: A while back, I installed the Honey extension on my chrome browser. Today I had to renew some domains, and when I went to check the honey button showed next to the “coupon code” box, so I pushed it. Honey searched the Internet, tried 30 coupon codes, found the best one(s) for my cart, and saved me $10 on a $60 order. One button push, a minute of time, and no cost to me.
Earn me some money on-line: If you start your on-line shopping from any of the links below, or the larger list found here, I will get a few pennies for every dollar you spend. Thanks!
Amazon ♦ Amazon UK ♦ Amazon Canada ♦ Newegg ♦ Skullcandy ♦ TurboTax