Love Does, But do I?

I am currently reading Bob Goff’s Love Does for the third time. This is a big deal because I’ve never read any book, other than the Bible, more than twice.

I’d like to tell you this book has been life changing for me, but it would be more honest to say it has challenged me to want to change my life, if I could just figure out how. Bob’s stories convince me I have totally missed Christianity – not the facts, but the heart of it. Or, maybe the problem is I have Christianity down pat, but have missed the heart of Jesus.

© Evgeni Dinev |

The apostle Paul seemed to think love was important: “…if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” [1 Cor 13:2 ESV] I have spent much of my life trying to understand mysteries, gain knowledge, and develop faith, but in all honesty, I have spent very little time working to be better at loving people. Do I love? Sure, I do – but do I love well enough? No, not even close. Does what I write here reflect the love of Christ well? Not very, I fear.

I think what is eating at me is I have made a great many things more important than loving people. I could say I do those things because I love people, and there is some truth to that, but when the things are more important than the love, I’m not actually following Jesus. Am I trying to love people, or I have I reduced them to projects?

I know when asked about the greatest commandment Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” [Mt 22:37-39 ESV] I know it but I don’t feel I’m really living it. In my mind there have been all kinds of other things more important – things like following rules and making sure others follow rules, and “dealing with” those who don’t follow the rules.

If this rant doesn’t ring your bell, good on you. If it does, are you ready to do something about it? I am doing a lot of reading and praying, and probably some fasting. I want to love the way Jesus said I should, and I am tired of making excuses.

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Great tweet of the week:

Simple ways to promote (your) marriage. Refuse to join in marriage-or-spouse-bashing conversations. @marriagejourney

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:

New blog this week – Calm.Healthy.Sexy. I’ve been weeding out the dead blogs, and now it’s time to add some new ones. Here’s a great start!

Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Redeeming Marriages with Jack and Janet facebook page posted Andy Stanley Mr and Mrs Mug Illustration ◄ Thanks to Jack for sharing this great video clip!


Assume Love

Praise Makes Us Brave ◄ Motivate your spouse!

Black and Married with Kids

5 Sacrifices I’m Willing to Make in Marriage ◄ What are you willing to sacrifice for your marriage?


5 Ways “Hotel Sex” Can Boost Your Marriage ◄ Another good reason to get away!
4 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Health – and Your Sex Life! ◄ Need another reason to exercise?

Do Not Disturb

When the world takes…you give ◄ Do some spouse rebuilding .

The Generous Wife

Tired, Hungry and Dirty ◄ Are you aware when she’s had a long day?
The Heart of the Giver ◄ This ties in somewhat with my post above.

Hot, Holy and Humorous

The World & Sex…Rowing against the Tide ◄ God’s way is not man’s way.
Are You a Good Lover? ◄ There is only one standard that matters.

Marriage Gems

Minimizing the Combat Zone in Your Marriage ◄ Know what causes major conflict, and how to calm it down.

One Flesh Marriage

Godly Growing Together ◄ The simple way to do it…

refine us

Desperate For God ◄ Speaking of wanting change…

The Romantic Vineyard

The Wedge of Infertility ◄ Don’t let it destroy your marriage.

Sex Within Marriage

My Wife Wants Me To Tie Her Up?! ◄ Got thoughts on this one?

…to Love Honor and Vacuum

Just DO Something as a Couple ◄ Doing things together is good for your marriage!

5 Comments on “Love Does, But do I?

  1. Paul – Thanks so much for mentioning my blog and sharing two of my posts.  I really appreciate it!  Thanks also for the reminder about Bob Goff’s book.  I started reading it (based on Lori’s recommendation, I think) then got distracted by my Mom having surgery and all that has entailed.  I really need to get back to it.

  2. “Am I trying to love people, or I have I reduced them to projects?”  — Excellent question that I think every man should keep in mind.  Keep up the good work.

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