Rules can be great things – they can save marriages. However, rules can also hurt and even destroy a marriage. This is particularly true when the rules are “false” or made up.
The “great thing” about rules is you can expect others to follow them, and you can feel morally superior if they don’t follow the rules. If your spouse is not “following the rules” you can judge and nag. You can feel you are right and they are wrong. There is, however, the temptation to make up rules that we can use to manipulate our spouse, or to justify our wrongs and failures. This does not fool anyone, but it makes us feel better and gives us an excuse that allows us to keep on doing what’s wrong and not feel as bad about it as we should.
What rules do you follow? What rules do you expect your wife to follow? Are these rules real and valid? Do they line up with the Bible, would they work in real life, and do they consider reality? Are they necessary? Is there another valid set of rules for the same thing?
So what must we do
Here in the West we want to follow you
We speak the language and keep all the rules
Even a few that we made up
From Rich Young Ruler – Derek Webb