Especially True for Husbands

Yesterday I suggested the way to receive love is to give love. This is valid for both men and women, but I think it’s truer when the husband does the loving.

We love Him because He first loved us.” [1 John 4:19 NKJV]

© Stuart Miles |

The Bible is clear our marriage relationship is an example of the Church’s relationship with God. Just as we came to love Him because He first loved us, I think God has designed men and women so wives are more likely to respond to a husband’s love than vice versa. This is not guaranteed, wives have free will (and even God gets rejected), but wives do seem to be far more likely to respond to selfless love than husbands.

If your marriage could use more love, don’t wait for your wife to act! Declare love unilaterally, and just keep bombarding her with it.

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5 Comments on “Especially True for Husbands

  1. Servant-leadership is such a powerful tool in the hands of a loving husband.  I have such heartache with men that lead their families by cohersion and neglect.  How can a wife ever trust her husband and let all of her guards down if he is not leading her with love.  I think that we men can do the first part of Ephesians 5:25 great – “Husband love your wives as Christ loved the Church”, but we fail miserably many times on the last portion – “and gave himself up for her.”  It is easy to love when things are going good, but what about when things take work?  It is easy to give of ourselves when we get a return on our investment, but what about a husband that takes care of his wife that has Alzheimer’s?  This wife does not even know her husband’s name and he pours himself out for her.  Christ poured out everything for his bride, can we men start a revolution against status quo by pouring ourselves out for our wives and families in like manner?  This is what it takes to get the trust of our wives that is available.  Our wives are treasures and not burdens.  They are gifts from a God that knew what we needed.

    • HappilyMarried Yes, that is true love, when one cannot get anything tangible in return. f we really understand what Jesus did for us, how can we not be the same way?

  2. Paul,
    I agree with “HapilyMarried” and yet it is more difficult to “love” when we do not see the critical issues. Most men, even real clods, will do loving actions when he sees her needing help, like picking up groceries after the bag breaks. However, too often men let the wife do whatever is required to be done when he should pitch in and help or take the initiative to honestly serve her. 
    As men, we need to look for opportunities to serve her needs. If children are there, tend to their needs and hers when you get home. Most likely she has done a number of items which has her stressed out or tired. Do you know seven activities she would enjoy having you do, that you do not do now without her asking you? Ask her, “Honey (or whatever you say as a term of endearment), if I could read your mind about jobs here at home that you wanted me to do, which I don’t do now, what would they be?”  
    After you comfort her on the floor from fainting, LISTEN to her answers. Make a mental note to incorporate those actions into your daily routine. Loving some one means knowing what her love language is (Gary Smally) and then acting in such a way as she will understand you.  Love (agape)is always “other centered” not a reciprocal arrangement.  
    Remember – The Best Is Yet To Be!!!  Jerry

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