Headship

When I did my What I Believe post recently, someone commented, “it would be great to hear your beliefs about what good spiritual leadership and headship look like.” I actually started to do that with the posts Monday’s and Tuesday’s post about love. I am convinced if we don’t have love down we will be horrible heads. On the other hand, if we have a handle on the love, the rest will work out. I have been criticised for being too focused on love, and/or too soft on headship, but in my mind you have no hope of being a proper, godly head if you don’t love well.

 Headship puzzle © Stuart Miles | freedigitalphotos.net

While the Bible is clear about the husband wife relationship, men are never commanded to lead or exercise headship; rather it’s stated as a fact that husbands are the head. So while we’re not commanded to lead, we are commanded, multiple times, to love our wives. I think it tells us something about the focus He wants husbands to have.

Jesus is the head of the church, and that role flows from His love for us. Of course, we are supposed to follow Jesus – but honestly, how well is the Church doing that? The church is a mess, out of God’s will in all manner of ways. If God treated us the way some want to treat a “disobedient wife” the Church would have been exterminated long ago. Jesus doesn’t try to force us to submit, nor does He abandon us when we fail to submit. Jesus keeps loving us, keeps wooing us. Not because He doesn’t have the right to force Himself on us, but because force is so contrary to love He would never do it. If we’re supposed to lead our wives the way Jesus leads the church, what should we do when we think she is out of submission?

Jesus invites us to follow Him, should we not do the same with our wives?

More on this Friday, Sunday, and Monday.

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11 Comments on “Headship

  1. When I studied biblical submission, I tried to make this my motto – “I am to treat my wife the same way God treats me when I act (don’t act) just like her.”  I can tell you it has made a HUGE difference in how I think and what I do and do not do!

  2. When I studied biblical submission, I tried to make this my motto – “I am to treat my wife the same way God treats me when I act (don’t act) just like her.”  I can tell you it has made a HUGE difference in how I think and what I do and do not do!

  3. Excellent post. I look forward to reading the continuing posts on this topic. It sounds easy to say but, my assertion to dh all along has been, “I just want to be loved.” If you love me (in action and attitude, not just word), I’ll gladly follow you anywhere:)

  4. Thanks for tackling this!  …looking forward to hearing all you have to say on the matter.
    As it’s been said, husbands don’t get to decide whether or not they want to be the head of their household or the spiritual leader – the decision is more a matter of “willingness to doing what it takes” to be a good leader vs. a poor leader.

    • MyFamilyDynamic Exactly! If a husband does not understand what it means for him to be in submission, he cannot be a good head. I will touch on that next week.

      BTW, sorry the spam filter caught you.

    • MyFamilyDynamic Exactly! If a husband does not understand what it means for him to be in submission, he cannot be a good head. I will touch on that next week.

      BTW, sorry the spam filter caught you.

  5. I’ll definitely be stealing some of this for my series on what it means to be “male and female.” Very timely and very good. I agree wholeheartedly. Love is central and headship means nothing without it.

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