The Extra Mile

My bride Lori and I go the extra mile for each other regularly. It’s a way of life for us.

One interesting things about this is the unspoken accessing going on. If I am tired, stressed, or busy, she’ll do certain things I normally do. If she’s tried, stressed, or busy I do certain things she normally does. However, it goes even further – if we’re both tried, stressed, or busy we each consider how bad off the other is, and do things accordingly.

Man in washing machine © Jiri Vaclavek |

Because we both do this, it’s easy for each of us to do it.

If you and your wife don’t have this habit, how do you start it?

By just doing it. Don’t tell her you’re doing it, don’t hint or play it up, just do it. Monitor her energy and how she feels mentally and emotionally, and step in for her when she’s overworked, stressed, or far too tired. Even if you’ve done too much, if she’s worse off step up and do some things for her. Keep at it, and odds are she will eventually reciprocate.

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7 Comments on “The Extra Mile

  1. Great post!  Isn’t it interesting how often we do things motivated by self-serving interests?  We do not mean to be egotistical but if we really look at our motives, we are self-serving. Contrary to that, when we just “Do it” as the commercial puts it and how you suggest above, we are serving for the right reasons.

     Been married 39 years and I often find myself working on how to just serve my bride. Also we still live in a gender imbalanced society.  I found out a long time ago that she needs me to “get my hands dirty” or “clean” (dishes or bathing a child” at times. Why do we look at these chores as “his or hers”? They need doing, so do them!  Don’t get all excited to hear her say “Why thank you!” as though it is such a huge stretch to your male ego.  Go searching for ways to make life easier for her. 
    Real men serve. Your family comes first on this earth. The Lord comes completely first,  but it is Jesus who said we are to serve and Paul (apostle – not GH author) says we are to love our wives – Ephesians 5:33 – agape – serving her highest interest.
     So ask yourself, “What does she need that I am not doing already?” 
    Thanks for the platform, Paul.
    Helping men learn how to “Crack The Romance Code”

  2. TheGenerousHusbandTheGenerousHusband Romance Man 

    Thank you for the response, Paul.  If you mean “mature” / perfect we are closer to that. If you mean sinless perfection?  The real problem is that it is made up of two humans!  You are an encouragement to many, keep at it!
    By the way. We have learned so much through the years of how to encourage each other. We have become very sensitive to each others needs. Perhaps that is one of the key elements to relationship, sensitivity or callousness. Depending on how a person lives, they can peal the layers away or add more layers on to create a greater barrier to the relationship.
    That is one premise we use in working with couples.  It is what I try to teach through my early attempts of a blog
    You have been a great inspiration to me for several years. Sorry it has only been recently that I have joined in to the discussions. 

    Jerry –

  3. Romance Man TheGenerousHusband Jerry – added your blog to my reading list a couple of days ago. Always looking to learn from those who have more experaince than I have.

  4. TheGenerousHusband Romance Man 
    Thank you my friend!  I have added some articles in the past couple of days. 
    Hope they help others not have the same agony as I did trying to do it on my own. God’s way works best!

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