What Kind of Vert are You
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Which is your wife?
If you’re both the same, then you understand each other and “vertism” is probably not a major issue in your marriage. If you are one of each, the difference has likely been a problem, and perhaps still is.
I’m an extrovert, which you might have guessed. I’m not the must-be-with-people-to-feel-alive kind of extrovert, but I enjoy being with others a great deal, and crowds are not a problem for me.
My wife is an introvert. She likes other people, but in groups of more than two being with others drains her emotionally. After being in a crowd, she needs some alone time to recharge.
I don’t understand how she feels, and probably never will, but I have come to accept God made her this way and it’s not something she needs to fix. I’ve figured out what she needs and I not only “allow” her to do those things, I help her. I try to be aware of how much time we spend with others and make sure she gets needed down time to recharge. I don’t plan events with big groups two days in a row without discussing it with her and making sure she’s okay with it.
On the other side, she understands being with a group is good for me, and so she makes a point of doing groups with me. I’m sure she doesn’t understand how I feel, but she accepts God made me this way and believes I don’t need to be fixed.
If you’re one kind of vert, and your wife is the other, talk about it. Find out what she needs, and try to help her understand what you need. Then be sensitive to her needs, and work to ensure she gets what she needs.