Or You Could Help Out

In the States, we just celebrated Thanksgiving. Now most will be celebrating Christmas, followed by the New Year. 

Thanksgiving Meal © Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com

Typically, holidays mean a great deal of extra work for wives, much more so than for husbands. In some homes the women work like crazy while the men talk, watch sports, or otherwise do anything other than helping with some of the extra workload.

Be aware of what extra work she picks up during the holidays, and look for ways to take some of it off her. Helping her be less busy and stressed is good for her, for your family, and for your marriage.


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7 Comments on “Or You Could Help Out

  1. Well in our case it’s different. I am the cook and my bride is the helper. I remember one of our first Thanksgivings together with 13-15 people going to be there. Afterwards she told me how it blew her away how I could get all the food to be finished at the same time. One of the many things I learned in my early days cooking in restaurants. The real point is she makes herself available to help, and that is appreciated. Husbands take this from a real cook, don’t just do, ask how you can help and then do the task she assigns. Cooks have a system to get everything done and just jumping in can sometimes cause frustration where she will say in that “you are just underfoot voice”. Go watch your game. That is not the goal here. :) It may be scrubbing toilets or dusting, cutting up onions or something simple as opening up the cans for her. Make yourself available not an obstacle.

  2. Good post!  I have been prepping for the past couple days and today will bake the pies and put together as many side dishes as I can ahead of time, along with cleaning the house in preparation for company coming in tonight.  Hubby has been out of town this week and will not get in until late tonight also, so I have carried the whole load of getting ready for tomorrow.  Which is fine, I’ve loved doing it all, but honestly am having to talk myself into staying calm and relaxed tomorrow, and not getting crabby and snappy at feeling that I’m doing all the work.  Which although I love doing, I do get tired and want help even if I’m not good at asking sometimes.  I’m also an introvert and too many people cause me stress, whereas my hubby thrives on lots of people around.
    So, I decided yesterday that tonight I’m going to express all of this to my hubby so he knows where I’m at and can be sure to stop and take notice once in a while tomorrow to see if I’m feeling tense and need his help in relaxing or even doing dishes.
    And I agree with sirfordor about people not just jumping in to do something you think needs done, because yes, we cooks usually have an order to what we are doing and need to stay focused on that.  But certainly ASK if the cook, whether wife or hubby, needs help, do not just go off and sit in front of the tv.  I guarantee you will not get many brownie points. ;)

  3. I can tell you that there are few things more rewarding, not to mention fun than to cook with a spouse who ‘gets it’- who can both lead and follow. Like sirfordor, I, too, cook dinner according to a plan (a habit I learned in between marriages to feed my children) and since my wife loves to bake, we learned to ‘dance’ with each other in the kitchen-one leads and the other follows, switching leads easily as the needs come. This includes keeping the dishes washed and dried and knowing when to ‘stay out of the way’, while being as silly as a Monty Python sketch  To that end I will quote Julia Child and leave it at that “Yes, I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.” :)

  4. Eleutheros – I love the Julia Child’s quote!  My hubby has been known to come in the kitchen while I’m cooking and while pouring me a glass wine jokingly ask me how I can possibly cook without a glass wine!  My hubby is great at knowing how to help and will jump in anytime I ask him to.

  5. sirfordor Absolutely right – one can be more in the way than help. But there are always thing one can do if they look. If nothing else, take care of clean up!

  6. sirfordor Absolutely right – one can be more in the way than help. But there are always thing one can do if they look. If nothing else, take care of clean up!

  7. Great reminder.  I am blessed that my husband jumps right in with other tasks (vacuuming, de-cluttering, etc.) while I am cooking.  It makes for much more pleasant holidays.

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