Making Dependency Less Bad
I got some virus last week. About the time the fever started to come under control, I started to get hives on my hands… and then my feet. Any use of my hand is uncomfortable, and any use that puts much pressure on them causes pain and makes the hives worse. I had to get Lori to tie my shoes, open the garage door for me, open bottles… actually do just about everything for me. (I can more or less type, and eat, and turn on lights, but not much else.)
I must say she’s been awesome about taking care of me. She asks what she can do, and makes offers before I ask. When I do ask she’s there without a sigh or negative look. She has made a difficult situation much better because she choose to be gracious and loving.
As I thought about this, I realised I’m not as good about it when she needs my help because something requires my strength, height, or knowledge. She depends on me for many things, and I’m not nearly as gracious and quick to respond as I should be.
Sure, I’d be great if she had hives, or for some other reason was temporarily unable to do certain things. I’d knock myself out to be there for any little need. That’s nice, but shouldn’t I be the same way for the things she needs all the time? Why have I decided I have a right to make her wait, or roll my eyes, or feel inconvenienced for her ongoing needs?
Clearly, there is something wrong with my thinking. I can imagine how I would feel if Lori acted like my needs were unimportant or annoying the last two days. She must feel that way when I put her off over something I know she needs from me.
Time to do some more growing up.