Are You Causing Your Spouse to Sin?

Alecia of Marriage Life stirred up a bit of controversy this week with I’m Responsible For My Husband’s Affair (website now gone).

While I don’t fully agree with her that “Any one of us, given the right timing and circumstances is capable of having an affair” I do agree with her that we can push our spouse to commit sins.

Now before you tell me I’m wrong, let me cite my source – Jesus:

…whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!” [Mt 18:6-7 ESV]

Granted there are other ways this is translated. Some versions say “to stumble” while others say “offend”. 

We find a similar idea on Roman’s 14, where Paul warns us that flaunting our Christian liberty can result in another committing sin.

So can you cause your wife to sin? Can she cause you to sin? At the very least we can entice others to sin, and Jesus makes it clear doing so is a very bad thing with serious consequences.

Pushing him to sin © Oleg Palchyk |

There are two things you can do with this information. One is good for your marriage and your walk with the Lord, the other isn’t.

  1. “Ah ha! My affair/porn use/neglect/anger/whatever is all her fault! If it were not for her I would never have done it. I’ll just sit back and wait for God to zap her!”
  2. “Lord, show me where I’m pushing my wife towards sin. Help me to do better, and help me know how to repent and undo any damage I’ve caused.”

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3 Comments on “Are You Causing Your Spouse to Sin?

  1. While I do not fully agree with her that “Any one of us, given the right timing and circumstances is capable of having an affair” – 

    Paul,  I think she’s right on with this.  The key here is given the right timing and circumstances.  How many people that have been unfaithful have thought “I would never do that” and end up doing that.  Anyone is capable of pretty much anything given the “right” circumstances.  If you don’t believe that you are living under a false sense of security,  IMO

  2. hiswifeagain  Maybe this comes down to how we define “circumstances”. The dictionary says:

    the way something happens : the specific details of an event
    : an event or situation that you cannot control

    I do not agree that any of us could commit adultery because of an event or situation we cannot control. I think we can avoid such situations, and thus any risk of the sin.

    I generally avoid any situations that could lead to my being intimately alone with a woman who is not a family member. I do this because I think it is both wise and kind to women, but it has the added advantage of keeping me safe.

    The other thing here is how in touch we are with your thoughts, feelings, and urges. Those who are well aware of these things are not surprised by them, while those who stuff and deny them are asking for trouble.

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