Make Valentine’s Irrelevant

I think one of the reasons some women put so much emphasis on Valentine’s Day is they feel a lack of love, connection, and romance the other 365.25 days of the year. It’s like men who feel bummed when they don’t have sex on their birthday – if they had sex as often as they wanted the rest of the year, it would be no big deal if it didn’t happen on any particular day, including “their day”.

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Give her what she wants and needs all the time, and Valentine’s won’t be such a big deal. You could go all out or just give her a simple card, and she’d feel just as loved and honoured. 

Start tomorrow, and by next year, Valentine’s will be pretty much a non-issue.

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7 Comments on “Make Valentine’s Irrelevant

  1. Well said Paul. In our house it’s a relative non-event because we put so much into our relationship year round. Today we swap cards and are having a nice dinner with the kids. To us it’s a day for our family not just us. It’s our love that helped create the kids so they should be part of it too!

  2. That’s pretty much the way it is in our house as well, we have so many good/great days we don’t need a specific day to celebrate our love. I havent done anything special for Valentines day in seberal years so I will buy Mrs3mr somethingl this year. Instead of spending a bunch of money I am going to fill a basket with a lot of her small favorite things in life, lotion, magazines, chocolates, a couple of bottles of wine, lip balm she likes, pomegranates, etc. I am sure she will like it because I will have put thought and effort in to it, but I could just as easily give her a card or write her a short love letter, which is what I do most years and she would be completly fine with it. If you celebrate your relationship every day Valentines looses its luster

  3. We love to celebrate our marriage throughout the year.  After 27 years, we’re both still romantics at heart who love to have fun together and celebrate love.

    We also like to make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, treating it as an extra-special day, simply because we can’t afford to do extra-special all the time.  It gives us a good excuse to go out for a fancy dinner, or go see a musical, or plan a night away.  We don’t do a gift exchange, but we do make each other a handmade valentine or write each other a love letter.  Valentine’s Day for us is about spending time alone doing something extra-special and we both really look forward to it.  We plan it together, so no pressure involved.

  4. A Heart to Know  It has always been odd for us because our daughter was born on Feb 14th, so the day was more about her. But we tend to do things all year, so it is not a big deal. For us the special time like you describe has been our anniversary.

  5. Paul,

    Since I work on helping others, as you do, it is easy to do for Elaine often. I am writing a book about marriage so with each chapter’s exercises, I am doing special activities  for her to make sure the ideas make sense to a woman.  She and my daughter are giving good feedback. 

    Typically I jot messages on “post-it” notes and leave them where she can find them easily and buy flowers every so often, “just because”.  So on Valentine’s Day, I give her a card and some flowers.

    Keep up the great work my friend!


  6. TheGenerousHusband A Heart to Know  

    Well I think having a child on Valentine’s Day is the very best way to celebrate love! Very, very sweet.  And, oh yes, we like to make our anniversary extra-special too.  It’s in August, so Valentine’s Day just so happens to hit at a good time to have another special day.  :)

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