Choosing Headship and Submission
I see many choices in our lives – even where we think we have no choice. (No, I am not a hard-line Calvinist!)
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live…” [Deut 30:19]
Prior to this God tells the Israelites they can do one of two things, and He tells them what will happen based on what they choose. God tells us what is right and what we should choose, but He gives us total freedom to choose.
What does this have to do with headship and submission? Each man must decide if he’s going to be the head of his wife as God tells him to be. Each woman must decide if she is going to follow her husband as God tells her to do.
I bring this up because I’ve heard a number of men complain their church doesn’t push women to submit to them. I even had one man say the church should “force” his wife to submit! I certainly think churches should teach the truth about headship and submission, but push or force!? In the passage above God told the Israelites their choices, told them which they should choose and why, then He left them to choose. God did not push, force, manipulate, or shame them into doing what was right, so why would it be okay for the church to do those things?
Some say not submitting is a sin and the church should excommunicate such women. Okay, but gossip and porn use are sins committed by the majority of the church, and I don’t see a mass removal of those people. There is a place for church discipline but it’s not the first resort for anyone who feels their spouse doing things wrong.
I wrote seven posts about headship and submission two years ago – you can check those if you want to read more:
Headship? Me? Maybe not … Why men shy away from being the head.
Submit to each other? Wait, how does that work? Does it work?
Submit! But only if you want to? It’s a choice?
Who submits to whom, and why? God has a plan here, really.
Being the head What it means, and how it’s to be done.
Sexual submission New we’re talking … or not.
How we do headship and submission How it works in our message.
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Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
Richard of Leading Men Only posted We are To Live Until You Die ◄ Every man over 40 needs to read this post at least once a year for the rest of his life!
Requests vs. Expectations ◄ Interesting – but is it possible? Is it biblical?
Black and Married with Kids
3 Simple Rules to Giving Her the Romance She Desires ◄ Well done!
Great Sex and Your Marriage: What You Must Know… ◄ A little secret.
Fight for Marriage
Are You Intimately Communicating With Your Spouse? ◄ Are you vulnerable to your spouse? You should be.
The Generous Wife
Hot, Holy and Humorous
When I Don’t Like Writing about Sex ◄ When life gets in the way of sex…
Intimacy in Marriage
5 Reasons the Church Won’t Talk Authentically About Sex ◄ An excellent post with a lot of truth.
Journey to Surrender
The Other 364 Days ◄ A reminder to be loving all year, and some pointers for the romantically challenged.
Leading Men Only
The Longest Way To Success Is Often A ShortCut ◄ A thought provoking article I wish I had seen when I was 20!
Safe at home
Is Debt Slowly Stealing Your Family’s Health and Wealth? ◄ Say no to debt!!
Sex Within Marriage
Is Non-procreative sex OK for Christians? ◄ OK? I think God expects it!