Marriage Destroyer: Busyness
If you’ve read me very long, you’ve seen me rant about our overly busy lives. I think busyness is one of the biggest marriage killers we face. Busyness limits marriage growth and keeps us from doing the things necessary for a healthy marriage.
Are you too busy for quality time together? Maybe you each have some free time, but not at the same time. Likewise, for sex: too busy is one of the most common reasons given for not having sex. Another common reason is too tired, which is a result of being too busy. What about communicating? Are you too busy to sit down and talk for half an hour?
How do we become less busy? Intentionality. Too busy is a cultural norm in the States, and you beat it by choosing to be counter-culture. The book Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives will help if you decide to fight being too busy. Author Richard Swenson says life happens in the margins, and without margin, we don’t have much of a life. Swenson says having more margin results in greater physical and mental health, better financial stability, more fulfilling relationships, and being able to do what God calls us to do. Paperback ~ Kindle ~ Audio
Another aspect of busyness is the time cost of our possessions. Most of what you own requires cleaning and maintenance. The more we have the more space we need, which means more expense. Money is obtained by doing work, which takes time, so any financial cost of our things results in us being busier.
I love my stuff as much as the next guy, but I’m seeing my stuff costs me a great deal. I think I’d be happier with less stuff. I would certainly be happier without the debt that comes with my stuff. Perhaps it is time to become a full on minimalist! (Check out Joshua Becker’s Inside-Out Simplicity if you are interested in this topic.)
Be honest with yourself, how does being too busy hurt you? How is it hurting your marriage? What about your kids? Would you be happier and more effective in what matters most if you were less busy?
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