Choosing to Enjoy What She Enjoys
Andrew made an interesting comment on my A Good Marriage Takes Time post:
“‘Liking’ is, to a large degree, intentional.” ~ BudekSchmeisser
At first glance, you may find that incorrect. It certainly doesn’t sit well on one level. However, I think he’s right.
Much of what we like and dislike is learned. We learn it from our family of origin, our culture, and our friends. There are times in our development when it’s easy to enjoy new things, and other times when our default reaction is like kids who look at food they’ve never eaten and say “What is it, I don’t like it.”
The last few years I’ve been actively retrying things I “don’t like”. A couple of months ago I became a fan of pecan pie, something I didn’t enjoy decades ago and had not tried since. Last year I learned to enjoy oatmeal – as long as it’s not instant or quick oats. Before that, I learned to drink coffee, and afternoon coffee has become something Lori and I look forward to.
If we can learn to enjoy tastes we didn’t once like, what else can we learn to like? Maybe not all of something, but a selected form, such as steel cut oats or some of the less twangy country and western music.
Do it for your wife. If you find a new pleasure in life, consider it a bonus.