What Do You Want In…

What do you want your marriage to look like a year from now? What about three years? How about five?

What Do You Want In...

If you don’t have clear goals, odds are you won’t see much positive change. 

If you want your marriage to be different/better in the future, why not write out one, three, and five-year goals? What do you want to be different? What do you want to no longer exist in your relationship? What do you want more of – including sex if you want more of that? Give it some serious thought, and then commit it to paper or electrons.

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6 Comments on “What Do You Want In…

  1. Is this something that would be worked on mutually? Because I don’t see things improving otherwise.

  2. Normally I would say yes, but just yesterday Chris Taylor posted an article about how she chose to work on her marriage, unilaterally, changed the direction of the marriage.

  3. I definitely know there are things about myself I can work on (sigh — perfection is further off than I thought!) but I don’t know that there are any things in my marriage. E.g., sex, because it’s obvious. My husband has never ever responded to any attempt by me to initiate, cancels scheduled sex about half the time, and has a very long list of “don’ts”. I don’t see how I could put “increase sex” on my list (for example) when there is literally no way that I can influence our sex life. Ditto with money / savings, spending time together, getting a hobby together. Maybe I haven’t been creative enough, but I have tried all the ways I can think to try to engage more, in anyway, and nothing works. And I don’t know what else there is in marriage if sex, communication, and activities are all off the table. What else is there?

    (And don’t say kids. I only get my stepson on weekends, and I’m literally in the middle of IVF to try to have my own kids. No sex means no kids.)

    • The IVF meds are making me, like, 15% more emotional. I was expecting to be way crazy, but it’s almost worse, because I feel mostly normal until something happens when I realize I’m not normal.

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